A place to submit Funny Amazon Reviews.
On my birthday (4/20), I found this cute little green item on my dresser. I assumed Brad had left it for me as a "special" birthday gift.
I tried for hours to figure out how to pry off the lid so I could load it properly, but no go. Then the thing started yodeling at me, and I thought, "Well, no more from that dispensary."
I actually acquired this watch accidentally and boy, I have never been happier. Here is my story:
I had finally found my dream home and was about to sign the deed where I would pay my $80,000 down payment. However, I wasn't really reading the contract because of how long it was, so I just skipped to the end and signed my name. After signing it, I had realized that I actually signed a bill of sale for this watch, and I had to pay the 80 thousand for it.
Of course, at first I was infuriated, but I soon came to realize that this transaction was actually a blessing in disguise. Acting on my initial anger, I decided to bury this watch on a large lot of land in New York, and went home. On that night a storm came and rain drenched all of New York City. The following morning, when I drove by that same lot of land, something magical had happened. A 68 story skyscraper had risen from the empty lot of land and I was notified by the city register that I owned the building. I was in absolute shock from hearing the great news! I then immediately ordered 20 more of these watches with the income I was getting from the tenants in my skyscraper(which I would name after myself, Trump Tower). I planted each of these watches in open lots of land around the US and the world and the same thing happened: Hotels, Golf courses, Casinos, and other skyscrapers all rose from each of those locations. I soon became a billionaire and started a company to hold these properties. I named this organisation after myself as well, of course.
When 2015 came, I was already incredibly rich and powerful... and smart and wise and handsome and had great hair. With President Barack Hussein Obama about to exit from office the following year, I thought long and hard about a decision I had to make. I thought to myself "if someone who wasn't even born in the United States was able to become president(since he obviously faked his birth certificate), then anyone can". I bought one final watch, and decided
I needed to get "something new" for my wedding day. Well, I couldn't have picked a more flattering piece of jewelry! Nothing says "marriage material" like the sweet gold-played combination of tangled snakes and an emblazoned skull. My guests were entranced by the eyes on the skull (which glow red when midnight strikes), and the way it complimented my new wedding band. I have to say, I had no idea how classy this watch would make me feel on my wedding day. I felt like Audrey Hepburn.
My family does a white elephant Christmas gift exchange every year. The price of gifts are limited to $20. I am going to buy this watch, if I can sell my house, and pretend that it only cost $10. The look on the persons face that opens this gift will be priceless! He/she will be begging someone to take it from him so he/she doesn't get stuck with it!!! I really hope my uncle Steven gets it. I will wait until I know that he has thrown the watch away in anger, thinking that someone just bought him a $10 gift, before I finally fess up that it cost me almost $90,000! This will be awesome! Thanks Satan for selling your watch!
As Count Dracula, I have had the opportunity to own many fine watches. I started wearing watches in the 1400's when they were not much more than portable, spring-driven clocks attached to the wrist by something that resembled a manacle. They were large and clumsy and would often get tangled up in my cape. As the decades and centuries passed, watchmaking technology improved dramatically. I have always liked to keep up on the latest in men's fashion, and I feel fortunate to be independently wealthy and so I have always been able to afford the best. I've sported Rolex and Cartier and Bvlgari and Piaget, but now "the best" has a new champion. I would remove this magnificent timepiece from my wrist only if it somehow stopped working, but since it is of the highest precision quality, I don't expect that day (or night) to come until around the year 2550. The snakes and lizards are awesome, but LOVE the skull! The only drawback is that it has a lot of crevices where graveyard soil can get stuck, but that's really my own fault for not placing a bread-bag over my arm when I retire to my coffin . FIVE STARS!!!!!
It was either this watch or college for my two kids. I made the right choice. That's what student loans are for, girls.
After purchasing this watch I noticed magical things started happening to me. For example: I was surprised to discover that whenever the watch strikes 3am, a pair of talking unicorns appear before you. They will grant you 3 wishes per appearance.
When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah, the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.
Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward).
Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills. California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.
I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
Product: Foodfight! (Movie)
Good for children! Maybe too good!
Review: "My three sons Brenden, Brandon, and Brindin each got bad marks in school. As punishment I had them watch "Foodfight!" The next day Child Protective Services took them away. Apparently this movie is child abuse! Either way, a good disciplinary tool!"
This movie was a masterpiece! Absolutely brilliant work of art! You can tell all of the heart went into creating this movie by how good it is! There were so many great parts in the film that I really can't express which one was the best. Spongebob does it again in this action packed thriller horror film. One gripe I have with the film is that halfway through the movie, there was a brief moment where I needed to turn the television set off. My children were very scared when Spongebobs clone became too violent and murdered Patrick and Mister Krabs. Was it really necessary for that part to be in the film? It is acceptable that Glowing Spongebob resurrected them after collecting all of the Dragon-Sponges, but the death didn't need to be so gruesome. Now my son, Albert, has nightmares quite often. But my other son, Albert 2.0, seems to enjoy watching it over and over again.
I LOVE IT SO MUCH
HOLY MOLY THIS IS GOOD
GOOOOOOOOOOOODNESS in Oscoda mi
No Lamb Sauce
There was no Lamb Sauce in this meal.
I sent these to my ex "by mistake". Does that make me a bad person?
I caught Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee in bed with my teenaged daughter after prom last year. What a jerk. If your looking for a guy to charge you for cost recovery and do it according to regulations, I'd look for a better vendor.
Trust me, I don't like regulations any more than the next guy, but when my AT&T phone bundle included this fee, I figured "What the heck".
I'm glad I said yes!
Not only this this fee cover the cost of the regulations imposed by our benevolent uncle Samuel, it exceeded it! I could sleep easy knowing that my uncle's fees were fully covered, for the life of the phone! Or for a month, it's hard to tell. But whichever way it is, I know that my fees have been covered and AT&T doesn't have to pony those fees up themselves.
It's comforting to know that whenever my uncle needs cash, he just passes that need on to us, and our benevolent corporate overlords are more than happy to oblige!
I was going to buy a new PlayStation 3 and a few games when I stumbled across this offer for Regulatory Fee! I really couldn't resist and in fact next to being torn with the temptation of ordering a Rolex, ordering the PS3 or pulling the trigger on this one, I found an uncontrollable urge and my mouse going crazy to do a left click.
So now I have a new Blackberry Bold that I love and a Regulatory Fee that I hope I don't see again until this phone dies in about 2 years.
Think of the Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee (RCRF) as a tax on phone users to cover the cost of government oversight and regulation. It does cost something. (Whether it costs as much as the RCRF funds collected or not, and regardless of whether you personally think the regulation of the telecom industry is properly managed). So, if the telecoms didn't pay for the FCC and other government regulation then such money would come out of the taxes /everyone/ pays. This would mean that folks without telephone lines, or without as many as the next person or business, would be subsidizing the folks who did have a lot of phone lines. That wouldn't be fair, would it?
Now, the question of whether the telecoms should call out this fact by placing a separate line item on the bill and being able to advertize their rate plans as being a little bit lower than they actually are -- that's a different issue. But, the basic question is who should pay for the regulation of the telcoms, and the RCRF seems to stick it to the appropriate people: the users of the telecoms services.
If we did the same thing with public roads and many government services, the true cost of infrastructure and services would be passed on to the users of such; the marketplace would be fairer.
For these reasons I give the RCRF 4 stars!