Homefeed
All Following

brand logo All

brand logo Following

Categories
All Following

Anti Jokes
Anti Jokes

A place to share Anti Jokes.

2000
Popular
Today Week Month Year All Time
     Recent

A guy walked into a bar, saw his friends, went over to see them, ordered a drink, had a good time then called a taxi to drive him home because it was a big day tomorrow, filled with doing nothing, and more doing nothing. He had a lot of fun doing nothing because he usually had a lot to do so it was nice to have a break. The next day, he got up and played video games and watched YouTube. Then he preped for Monday. Monday comes, and he is very sad that the weekend is over. The end.

Report
1 like 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dave."
John opens the door and lets Dave in.

Report
4 likes 1 comment
Anonymous
Top comments
Keela
Keela · 1d

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave

1
0 replies
view previous replies (0)
Anonymous
View all comments (1)
evbe17 evbe17 · 2d

How do you make a clown cry?

Throw a brick at its face.

Report
3 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)

I like my girl how I like my coffee... I don't like coffee

Report
5 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
evbe17 evbe17 · 3d

Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side

Report
5 likes 1 comment
Anonymous
Top comments
Dqnijel
Dqnijel · 3d

I havent really thought of it that way before

0
0 replies
view previous replies (0)
Anonymous
View all comments (1)
evbe17 evbe17 · 3d

Three 3rd graders, a white kid, Asian kid and a black kid are at the playground and decide to have dick measuring contest. So they go to the back of the school and the white kid whips his out. Then the Asian does who's is a bit smaller. The black kid takes his and whips his out and it's the biggest out of all of them. With pride the black kid goes homes and goes up to his mom and says "Mom! my dick is the biggest out of all of my friends!" His mother responds "Well son, you're 23 so..."

Report
1 like 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
evbe17 evbe17 · 3d

Do Muslim sex dolls blow themselves up?

Report
1 like 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
evbe17 evbe17 · 3d

What's white on top and black on bottom?

Society

Report
2 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
evbe17 evbe17 · 3d

An American a Brit and a Mexican are on a boat. The Brit throws a bag of tea off the boat. He explains to the confused others "Oh, there's just so much tea in England that we can just throw them away. So the Mexican throws off peppers for the same reason. The American takes the Mexican and throws him off the boat. He explains to the confused British man "Oh we have so many Mexicans in America that we can just throw them away."

Report
1 like 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
evbe17 evbe17 · 3d

What did grandma give Johnny for Christmas

Nothing she died on Thanksgiving

Report
5 likes 1 comment
Anonymous
Top comments
Idunno
Idunno · 3d

XDDDD

0
0 replies
view previous replies (0)
Anonymous
View all comments (1)
Anonymous Anonymous · 4d

What did the father say to the son? Because it wanted to get to the other side.

Report
0 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
Anonymous Anonymous · 4d

A man walks into a bar.
His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Report
2 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
Anonymous Anonymous · 5d

What do you get when you cross a vector with a scalar?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

Report
1 like 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
Anonymous Anonymous · 5d

What did the dog say to the other dog?

Nothing, because dogs can't talk.

Report
1 like 1 comment
Anonymous
Top comments
AquaGamer
AquaGamer · 5d

Btw, this one was me. I just got an account.

2
1 reply
view previous replies (0)
Calbel
Calbel · 5d

Got it :) If you remind me later today I can assign the post to your account!

1
Anonymous
View all comments (1)

Why couldn't the cat walk?
Because it was dead

Report
5 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)

Why did the rabbit eat the carrot?
Because it was hungry

Report
5 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
Thaphoe Thaphoe · 5d · Edited

What did the math book say to the other math book?
Nothing. Books can't talk, and you know better than that.

Report
3 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)

Why did lil' johnny drop his ice cream?

He was hit by a T rex

Report
1 like 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
Anonymous Anonymous · 6d

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What kind of drink would you like?"

The man says, "Whiskey."

Then, the bartender says, "Sorry, we can't give you whiskey."

"Why not?", asks the man.

"Because we're out of it.", replied the bartender.

Report
2 likes 0 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
View all comments (0)
Anonymous Anonymous · 6d

Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO YOUR HOUSE SO HE CAN HACK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MURDER YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ALONG WITH THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY AND COVER UP THE EVIDENCE TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOUR FAMILY COMMIT SUICIDE WHEN IN REALITY THE CHICKEN MURDERED YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH SEVERE INSANITY WHEN HE TURNED TWENTY YEARS OLD AND EVERYONE STARTED FEARING HIM BECAUSE OF HIS INSANITY AND HE WOULD DO HORRIBLE THINGS LIKE DROWN PEOPLE IN LAKES AND MURDER THEM IN THEIR SLEEP LIKE WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO TO YOU WHEN HE REACHES YOUR HOUSE AND HACKS INTO YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SO HE CAN ACTIVATE HIS DESPICABLE PLAN TO MURDER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR SLEEP.

Report
5 likes 4 comments
Anonymous
Top comments
warrior_thing135
warrior_thing135 · 3d

HOLY FUCK. LOCK EVERTHING IN YOUR HOUSE AND TURN EVERY TECHNOLOGY EQUIPMENT YOU HAVFNOWIFVNIPWF34U9Q03W-T9I43U2HEFYREHITOWP89Y43QUPEHIT4;GOQ3[TW4ILHYK50[TIROLK

1
0 replies
view previous replies (0)
Anonymous
NapsterGastly
NapsterGastly · 6d

holy shoot. that escalated quickly

1
0 replies
view previous replies (0)
Anonymous
View all comments (4)
Loading posts...
This site uses cookies, as explained in our Cookies Policy . If you use this site without adjusting your cookies settings, you agree to our use of cookies.
x