A place to share Anti Jokes.
A guy walked into a bar, saw his friends, went over to see them, ordered a drink, had a good time then called a taxi to drive him home because it was a big day tomorrow, filled with doing nothing, and more doing nothing. He had a lot of fun doing nothing because he usually had a lot to do so it was nice to have a break. The next day, he got up and played video games and watched YouTube. Then he preped for Monday. Monday comes, and he is very sad that the weekend is over. The end.
Three 3rd graders, a white kid, Asian kid and a black kid are at the playground and decide to have dick measuring contest. So they go to the back of the school and the white kid whips his out. Then the Asian does who's is a bit smaller. The black kid takes his and whips his out and it's the biggest out of all of them. With pride the black kid goes homes and goes up to his mom and says "Mom! my dick is the biggest out of all of my friends!" His mother responds "Well son, you're 23 so..."
An American a Brit and a Mexican are on a boat. The Brit throws a bag of tea off the boat. He explains to the confused others "Oh, there's just so much tea in England that we can just throw them away. So the Mexican throws off peppers for the same reason. The American takes the Mexican and throws him off the boat. He explains to the confused British man "Oh we have so many Mexicans in America that we can just throw them away."
A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What kind of drink would you like?"
The man says, "Whiskey."
Then, the bartender says, "Sorry, we can't give you whiskey."
"Why not?", asks the man.
"Because we're out of it.", replied the bartender.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO YOUR HOUSE SO HE CAN HACK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MURDER YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ALONG WITH THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY AND COVER UP THE EVIDENCE TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOUR FAMILY COMMIT SUICIDE WHEN IN REALITY THE CHICKEN MURDERED YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH SEVERE INSANITY WHEN HE TURNED TWENTY YEARS OLD AND EVERYONE STARTED FEARING HIM BECAUSE OF HIS INSANITY AND HE WOULD DO HORRIBLE THINGS LIKE DROWN PEOPLE IN LAKES AND MURDER THEM IN THEIR SLEEP LIKE WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO TO YOU WHEN HE REACHES YOUR HOUSE AND HACKS INTO YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SO HE CAN ACTIVATE HIS DESPICABLE PLAN TO MURDER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR SLEEP.