A place to submit Book Plots Explained Badly.
A Girl can't decide between an old tampon and a dog, then marrys the tampon. Then, the dog realizes he's only ever been in love with the girl's unborn baby. And everybody dies. But that didn't happen. Now everyone is happy, and Doggy probably fucks the baby.
The twilight saga
A Girl pretends to be a guy, takes male Hormones and everyone believes her, until she gets her period, and gets pretty bitchy. Also, a guy has a Pearl sewed to his throath and therefore, is the emperor.