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Child Logic
Child Logic

A place to share examples of Child Logic.

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Kid: Mommy, can I pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase get this toy?
Mom: We can't ge-
Kid:*better scream and cry to show dissatisfaction... great idea!* WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT

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Anonymous Anonymous · 18d

Done playing with a toy. Another kid picks it up. Kid who oringinally had it "GIVE ME BACK MYY TOOYYYYYY!!!!"

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Child sees police car.
Likes police cars.
Watches police cartoon.
Sees policeman enter police station.
Child pretends to be a policeman.
Child says, and corrects every adult that when he goes home, it is not home, it is the police station.
This child is my son.
He says this to everyone.
There have been too many occasions where I had to explain why he says he lives at "the police station".

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CodeYT CodeYT · 29d

"i hate you"
"i hate you times 100"
"i hate you times infinity"
the class:

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Oh, so Mom's friends are over? Time to scream as loud as I possibly can into their faces!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

Try to get a toy by saying "BATTERIES AREN'T INCLUDED" I thought that meant that you got free batteries.
I don't know why

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The worst part of loosing a balloon, would have to be watching it float further and further away. I swear it's as if it's mocking me

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An0ny An0ny · 1mo

*Sees Male Friend*

Me: Congrats on getting the job!

Male Friend: Thanks! *Hugs Me*

Kid: That's gay!

*Sees Male Friend Making Breakfast*

Me: Thanks for making breakfast! You're so sweet!

Kid: That's gay!

*Meets Male Friend At Store*

Me: Oh, wow! I didn't expect to see you here! *Gives Handshake*

Kid: That's gay!

*Gets Notification On Facebook About Male Friend*

Kid: That's gay!

Me: Hey, you know, my male friend–

Kid: That's gay!

Me: Ki–

Kid: That's gay!

*Starts Dying and Lays On Death Bed My Father Had*

Kid: That's gay!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

Child: “OOOOOOH I really really reallyreallyREALLY want that toy.”

Mother:”I’m sorry sweetie we came for asparagus.”

Child: maybe if I scram loud mommy will get it for me.”WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH”

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UR NAME IS NOT MOM?!?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

Kid: Lol toyota AE86 is GAYYYY
Me, an Initial D fan: well what's your dream car?
Kid: A Lamborghini
Me: what kind?
Kid: one that can drift
Me: none can drift kiddo
Kid: Triggered.jpeg
Me: If your looking for a drift car, look for the Toyota AE86, Suparu WRX STI, or the Mitsubishi Eclipse

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Hsien Hsien · 1mo

"Pianos had keys?! I thought they had rectangular buttons!”

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An0ny An0ny · 1mo · Edited

Me: Hey, what are you afraid of?

Kid: Your mom.

Other Kids: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Me: What did you eat for dinner last night?

Kid: Your mom.

Other Kids: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Me: Who are you dating?

Kid: Your mom.

Other Kids: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Me: What time is it?

Kid: Your mom.

Other Kids: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Me: I'm going to go to sleep.

Kid: Your mom.

Other Kids: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Me: *Snoring*

Kid: Your mom.

Other Kids: OOOOOOOOOOH!

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Elle Elle · 2mo

Being a smart ass two year old (me) and getting to use things 3+ or 7+ and watching 12+ films 🤗

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Elle Elle · 2mo

Goes to a friend of your parents house
Is told to sit
Doesn't want to sit on the strangers sofa
Stands
Moans legs are tired
Goes and sits in car for 1 hour

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Kid: *sees parents having sex*

Kid: Why are you wrestling?

Parent: We're doing the mating call of the stork so that he'll bring you a brother

Kid: ...

Kid: ok

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Me:bruh im tired of this toy.
throws it away
Other child plays with it
Also Me:Niggah you dumb fuck give my toy back

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Im kinda sleepy...WELL IMMA JUST CRY MY EYES OUT ABOUT IT

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saronicle saronicle · 2mo · Edited

*Sees kid using too much paint* Me: You don't need to use so much. A little goes a long way.
Kid: Yeah, but a lot goes even longer.
Me: .....

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As a kid I thought my teachers were stupid when they spelled words with 'tion' at the end of a word instead of 'shun'. Made me wonder why words, like NATION, weren't pronounced as NAY-TEE-ON.

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