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Comebacks

A place to submit Comebacks.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 42m

Them:Get a life.

Me:It's not my job to get one for you

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Dusty Dusty · 1h

Douche: Kill yourself.

Me: If I wanted to kill myself, I would jump from your ego to your IQ. Then again, if I did that, I would be falling onto nothing.

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StormNite777 StormNite777 · 1d · Edited

___: Good cumback did you scrap that from the back of your throat

Me: ... Well, I'm glad that you at least capitalized the first word in that mis-spelled, non-punctuated mess that you call "Sentence". I believe you meant "Good come back! Did you scrape that from the back of your throat?"

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Moustacher
Moustacher · 1d

you forgot the speech marks at the end

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StormNite777
StormNite777 · 21h

Ah! Thank you for informing me of this, kind person

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Moustacher
Moustacher · 19h

:D

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Peridot Peridot · 2d

Mean girl: Could someone call animal control? We seem to have a stray bitch running around.
Me: *circles around her, with awestruck expression* Ladies and gentlemen, the animal speaks!

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wrightentertainment
wrightentertainment · 2d

Oosh ouch

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Guy: I could eat little pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Me: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

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So this kid at my school was going around and asking people if they were gay. It's a very personal question and one of my friends is and this kid goes up to my friend and she's talking to me about exams and this was this kid and my friend's conversation.
Kid: are you gay or straight? bad or good? By or no?
Friend: I'm straight
Kid: good!
Friend: as a circle...
Kid: OMG WTF HEY EVERYONE THIS GIRL IS GAY!!!!!
*Everyone in hallway knows and are her friends and get pissed that this kid is picking on her.*
In the end I did sign the kids three cast with a rainbow...

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3d

"Hey what's up?" My standards

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Leesy Leesy · 5d

Scenario : a girl is spreading rumours about you or using butter

You: Wow!
Girl: ?
You: It's good to know you can spread something that isn't your legs.

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awesomephantomgirl55
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Leesy Leesy · 5d

Yeah, you and what army?

Know the reference?

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Virus_33516
Virus_33516 · 5d

Yes, it's referring to a lot of things.

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"I need condoms for some protection."

"Your face is protection."

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Anonymous Anonymous · 6d

Them: "My dick is so big it goes from A to Z" Me: "Look at you keyboard"

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Anonymous Anonymous · 6d

Random Person: "Kill Yourself." Me: "If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ."

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Good cum back did you scrap that from the back of your throat

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Dusty
Dusty · 6d

...what the fuck.

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bettywatson
bettywatson · 6d

Good comeback isn't it ????

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Dusty
Dusty · 6d

No. No it isn't. And you spelled 'comeback' wrong... unless that was intentional (which it probably was.)

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Anonymous
StormNite777
StormNite777 · 1d

... Well, I'm glad that you at least capitalized the first word in that mis-spelled, non-punctuated mess that you call "Sentence". I believe you meant "Good come back! Did you scrape that from the back of your throat?"

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0tero 0tero · 7d

someone: SUCK A DICK
me: Oh, so I can relate to you :)

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Anonymous Anonymous · 7d

Is your family tree a cactus
*Leans in close*
*Whispers*

Cuz errywun in it is a priiiiick

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Ur face

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Ur Mom

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"I know you are, but what am I" OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Muddy Muddy · 7d

"You're ugly!"

"At least I don't have to pay my reflection to look at me, unlike you."

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*in middle of a verbal fight person inhales*
Me: wait don't talk OMG DO YOU HEAR THAT
Them: ...
ME: *before they can talk* ITS YOU FINALLY BEING QUIET GOOD JOB A+
Them: IM NOT DONE TALKING
Me: Well I'm done listening to an idiot
*They swear at me in Spanish*
Me: que fue ESO (what was that in Spanish)
Them: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID?!?!
Me: did you honestly forget I take honours Spanish, study German, Latin, Portuguese, Greek, Hawaiian, French, Japanese, and Russian
Them: Sh*t you do
Me: voce e um idiota (Portuguese)
Them: UGH
Me: are you constipated?
Them: No
Me: oh so you have to go check your diaper now right?
Them: NO
Me: oh I thought I smelled a turd but I guess it's just you.

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