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Dad Jokes
Dad Jokes

A place to share Dad Jokes.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1h

What do you call a stylish police? SWAG

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Anonymous Anonymous · 16h

What's up? Gas Prices

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

What's up? The sky.

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Marc Marc · 4d

Does your face hurt cause it's killing me

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Anonymous Anonymous · 5d

Was putting salt on my chips
My dad said "You're gonna get arrested for as-salt-ing those chips"

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Anonymous Anonymous · 5d

Dad: Son Wanna hear a dad joke
Son : no
Dad: me neither

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How does a flie fly? It uses its name

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Anonymous Anonymous · 10d

Told my dad I was getting a new tablet

He said "why got a headache"

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When my dad turns on the heater for your butt he says, "Are your eggs melted yet?"

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What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and a Syrian terrorist camp?

I don't know, I just pilot the drone.

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Calbel · 13d

jesssuss christttt

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Jezza Jezza · 14d

Knock knock
Who's there

I did up
I did up who

Hoped you wiped

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Knock knock
whose there

Knock knock
whose there

Knock knock
whose there

Knock knock
whose there

quick open the coffin hes still alive

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Anonymous Anonymous · 16d

*drives past cows in field on cold day*

Dad- god they must be freisen (freezing)

(Anyone who doesn't know freisen is a breed of cow)

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Anonymous Anonymous · 17d

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!

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Dad: What letter comes after X?
Me: Y.
Dad: To test your knowledge of the alphabet of course!

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On Halloween:
Kids: Trick or treat!
Dad: I choose the trick! *performs the Magic trick with the coin behind the ear on one of the children*

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Anonymous Anonymous · 18d

Dad: What are you drinking?
Son/Daughter: Soy Milk
Dad: Hola Milk, Soy padre

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Honey! I'm pregnant!
Hi Pregnant! I'm Dad!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 18d

Dad-"hey son, pick up your room."
Son-"why?
Dad-"its on the floor"

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What does a murderer say after he kills someone by a nail gun?
"Nailed it."

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