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A place to share Dad Jokes.
What do you call a stylish police? SWAG
What's up? Gas Prices
What's up? The sky.
Does your face hurt cause it's killing me
Was putting salt on my chips
My dad said "You're gonna get arrested for as-salt-ing those chips"
Dad: Son Wanna hear a dad joke
Son : no
Dad: me neither
How does a flie fly? It uses its name
Told my dad I was getting a new tablet
He said "why got a headache"
When my dad turns on the heater for your butt he says, "Are your eggs melted yet?"
What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and a Syrian terrorist camp?
I don't know, I just pilot the drone.
I did up
I did up who
Hoped you wiped
quick open the coffin hes still alive
*drives past cows in field on cold day*
Dad- god they must be freisen (freezing)
(Anyone who doesn't know freisen is a breed of cow)
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!
Dad: What letter comes after X?
Dad: To test your knowledge of the alphabet of course!
Kids: Trick or treat!
Dad: I choose the trick! *performs the Magic trick with the coin behind the ear on one of the children*
Dad: What are you drinking?
Son/Daughter: Soy Milk
Dad: Hola Milk, Soy padre
Honey! I'm pregnant!
Hi Pregnant! I'm Dad!
Dad-"hey son, pick up your room."
Dad-"its on the floor"
What does a murderer say after he kills someone by a nail gun?