A place to submit your FML (F*ck My Life) stories.
It was the morning before school and I decided to scare my friend. When i did it, I did a Shane McMahon style shuffle away from him and slipped on my back with my bag on which had a metal lunch box and my laptop, my weight landing on the lunch box crushed my laptop's screen.
It was my twelfth birthday as a prank my mom and her friend ruined my cake by throwing it into my face and bringing out another one to do the same the first on went flawlessly but when they brought out the second one they dropped it...I locked myself in my room and punched my wall so hard I broke my middle finger and literally screamed fuck my life.
I put my phone on the table after fixing the table and it had a type of case that maked it looked like a rectangular coaster, and my mom saw it my mom thought it was a coaster so she used my phone as a coaster and my phone got wet after putting my cup on it. My phone got wet.
When I was in 4th grade, I farted in class, it was silent but everyone smelt the fart smell so i also covered my nose to act like i wasnt the one who farted. When it was recess, my friends kept laughing at me and i wad like "What?" and they were like "Nothing" and they kept laughing until the end of school. So when I went home, I took off my pants and noticed a brown spot on the back side. So all along from the start of that school day till the end of that day, I sharted.
Simply, I sharted in my pants for a whole school day and i can never forget that day.
I like bacon thats chewy because it felt like it had more taste in it. One day I grabbed a piece of bacon and started eating it thinking nothing would go wrong
I was wrong though as a big piece of unchewed bacon ended up choking me and I was lucky enough to regurgitate the bacon and spat it in the trash
The worst time out of all the years I have eaten bacon
There was a party in a school gym that lasted until 11:30. Me and three friends were doing water bottle flips. Then one of the friends got the idea to flip the bottles and make them land on the basket ball hoop. It was around 12:00 and the adults were cleaning up. A mom walked under a hoop as I was throwing the bottle. Since my hands were slippery because of grease on the food I let go early. Instead of throwing the bottle up, it went forwards at 100mph. The bottle hit the mom directly in the face.
At gym 2am, taking a shower, momentarily switch water off to save water while I'm covered with soap and some shampoo. Turn water on got the warm tap turned open, turn cold tap to level the temperature, hand slips on cold turning up too much I am bombarded with cold water step back slip and fall. Injure my ankle severely along with some nasty bruises, still covered with soap and shampoo can't turn tap off still under cold water, can't reach tap. Finally got strength to reach and turn tap off and fall back down again. End up dragging myself on floor all slippery, looking like white walker with no legs. Half covered by towel afew minute later, crawling out the bathrooms finally get help and my co-worker paramedics pick me up... FML
One time I was at school and had a microwave macaroni and cheese for lunch. I had forgotten to pack a plastic spoon so naturally I walked down to the cafeteria for a spoon. Apparently a flimsy plastic utensil that costs about 3 cents to make is worth a half dollar. I wound up having to take a mechanical pencil and then take it apart, break it, and use the shattered plastic tube as an eating utensil. FML
I was at a highschool party. A costume party. My boyfriend was the judge. I wasn't wearing a costume, just a blue hoodie and some jeans. Then suddenly, he says "And the best costume issss........ My girlfriend! Shy and perfect in every way. Her makeup isn't a good costume though." I have major anxieties. FML
I was tradeing in a game for a item that cost a ton of money and was vary rare with a player from day 1 of the game charging cable falls out and computer dies ending trade then i got back to it but he had internet issues when it finnaly worked he forgot a step deleting it from existence no one has it it is gone
This one time at school these popular girls were talking and on of them said they liked this guy called Ryan, someone that heard the conversation went up to Ryan and told him one of them liked him. I was sitting opposite him, he straight up vomited all over me... FML