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FML

A place to submit your FML (F*ck My Life) stories.

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So one night, I had homework to do and left it until night. It was roughly 0:30 am and I thought, "Let's do the homework". Next thing I know, I wake up, homework undone. FML.

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I sometimes let my friend, who sits next to me in class, copy my answers on tests. He once copied my WHOLE test and our teacher got suspicious. She told us that she knew one of us had cheated, and if neither of us came forward, we would have to retake. My friend didn't say anything so we did the retake. He got the same test, I got a completely different one. Needless to say, he got a 100, and I failed and got two detentions. FML

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Calbel
Calbel · 14h

That sucksss

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Idunno Idunno · 17h

We were in a bag store of some sort and me and my step-brother got bored, so he went over to one of the manikins, took the hand and made it so, that it would show the finger to everyone that looks at it. It was funny...until I noticed the security cameras. Now I'm scared to go even near that shop...even if it wasn't me who did it.

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Me and two of my friends were at McDonald's for lunch a few months ago. When we were halfway done with our meals, we all spotted a kid dancing-literally dancing-on a table. And what was the mom doing? Taking selfies. We all walked over and asked the mom to make her kid stop. She got angry, and started yelling at us. Me and my friends got kicked out because we were "causing a scene". FML.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

My cat poops behind my parents' t.v. stand and as I'm cleaning it up, he goes in front of me and poops again.

FML

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

i was at school and just got a brand new pair of jordans. In pe we had to run a mile and it rained yesterday. My brand new shoes were covered in mud. FML

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

I was taking my dog to the vet.
When we got there, there was a brown puddle.
No further investigation required.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

Im depressiv..

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 21h

What do you mean depressiv?

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Idunno
Idunno · 1d

Depressed?

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URockMyWorld URockMyWorld · 1d · Edited

A few months ago, back in December, all of my neighbor's five grandchildren came over for a weekend. Me and my mom left the house around 5:00, since we made arrangements to eat dinner at my mom's friend's house. I walked over to my side, to find a sticker flat in the middle of the car door. Apparently, the five grandchildren were playing outside around noon, and one of them slapped a sticker on my mom's car door. Of course, my mom made me clean it off. It took me over three months to clean that off. FML.

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Juice10 Juice10 · 1d

I went to get my phone so I could listen to music outside while I played soccer and I left my phone on the back of my car. I left it there and my mom drove off with my phone STILL THERE and then 10 minutes later I found my phone on the main road, freaking split in two, and still playing a fucking song

FML

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Last year, I was taking a walk in the park, and someone ran over my foot with a bike. And I was wearing flip-flops, so the tire went right over my foot. Instead of asking if I was ok, all the person who ran over my foot did was laugh with his friends. Meanwhile, my foot bleed really hard, and I had to spend the rest of the day in bed. FML.

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A few weeks ago, I got in trouble because I brought a water bottle into class. Which was fine, but someone else brought in two huge bottles of Coke, and he was totally ignored. FML.

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Idunno Idunno · 1d · Edited

Who is on vacation and has a fever? Yeah...me. FML

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 1d

I don't have a fever, but I have strep throat.

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likeabossmonster
likeabossmonster · 1d

Ugh hate that

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Anonymous
Juice10
Juice10 · 1d

hey mister

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Idunno
Idunno · 1d

What?

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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.

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Idunno Idunno · 2d

I had exactly 0 hours, 0 minutes and 0 second of sleep this night...FML and WHERE IS MY COFFE???

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 1d

*gives coffee*

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Idunno
Idunno · 1d

You do realize that I'm serious right?

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likeabossmonster
likeabossmonster · 2d

*coffee

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Idunno
Idunno · 2d

Dude...

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likeabossmonster
likeabossmonster · 2d

*Dood

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Idunno
Idunno · 2d

C'mon, I'm too tired for this sh*t :)

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likeabossmonster
likeabossmonster · 2d

*hands coffee*

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Idunno
Idunno · 2d

I already drank two

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I was listening to this song called "destroya" no it is not screamo it's by My Chemical Romance, and there's a part in it were the singers start to moan, and I was in my academic support class, the only other girl in that class was the teacher and she wasn't in the room. So one of the boys in the class pulls out my earbuds from my laptop and on full blast the moaning part plays and all the guys are standing there staring. So I casually plugged my earbuds back in, all the boys were scared of me for the rest of the year, and they still are scared of me, FML

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

I was sitting in a study area in the uni library. I sat in a corner which had a window next to it where you could see the staircase.

I'd been there for a while. It had reached the stage where my testicles had become unbearably itchy. I looked around to check no one was watching and saw that everyone was busy.

I then went for a 10 second, double handed testicle massage. It felt like heaven, and for some reason...for some fucking reason, decided to smell the tips of my fingers afterwards. As I looked to my right, mid smelling. I saw three girls frozen on the staircase. Two were laughing, not the kind of laugh which is caused by witnessing something hilarious , but the type which is triggered by fear. The other one stared at me with absolute disgust.

With no options left, I thought the only thing that would save me was to smile back at them. I then realised this made me look like a fucking sexual deviant. The girls moved quickly down the stairs. I stayed home for 3 days, missing lessons because I was terrified news of a freak on campus had been spread. FML

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Last month, I had the stomach flu, but my parents forced me to go to school anyway. I was in lunch, when I threw up on the floor. One of the lunch monitors gave me detention because I "disrespected school property". FML.

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GoldenFreddyGaming44
GoldenFreddyGaming44 · 2d

That just proves that most adults are idiots.

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 2d

Believe me or not, the school I go to is called the worst school in the whole district.

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likeabossmonster
likeabossmonster · 2d

The Worst School In The District Middle. Has a ring to it.

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 2d

It does XD

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Anonymous
Popcorn_172
Popcorn_172 · 2d

ouch

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

I overheard the guy I fancy talking to his friend who fancies me and he said "You know, If she ever asks me out I'll make sure you don't like her anymore then I'll say yes." that was about a year ago and the other guy still fancies my FML

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

I was almost finished with a video game when my 7 year old sister thought that pressing new game was a funny prank. I lost all of my data. FML

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