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Chuck Norris isn't dead. He just challenged god to a fight, and they're still fighting today.

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Dexzernq79
Dexzernq79 · 19h

we need a category of chuck norris jokes

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 7h

YO CALBEL

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Mr_Awesome_Riley
Mr_Awesome_Riley · 1h

I suggested it actually.

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What do you call dead paper? Ripped

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What do you get when you cross Sasquatch with a bear? Barefoot

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The middle ages are also called the dark ages. Probably because there were so many Knights.

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 3d

Sir Napsalot

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Dexzernq79
Dexzernq79 · 3d

i didn't see that this was in puns at first

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Did you know Oxygen and Magnesium were Dating? OMg!!!

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XenoXTA
XenoXTA · 1d

Sadly, magnesium oxide is MgO...

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_Saraphina_
_Saraphina_ · 14h

Right... wait. Magnesium has one free electron, and Oxygen has two. So, it would be Mg2O.

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XenoXTA
XenoXTA · 6h

No, it has 2 free electrons. It has an electron configuration of 2,8,2 (Atomic number of 12), meaning its outermost shell has 2 spare electrons. MgO is magnesium oxide.

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_Saraphina_
_Saraphina_ · 1h

I thought it was an alkali metal...

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FluffyTorpedo FluffyTorpedo · 3d · Edited

Did you know that the cemetery is the most popular place on Earth

People are just Dying to get there

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WhoAreYou
WhoAreYou · 22h

yeah i heard that most cemeteries are in the dead centre of towns

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FluffyTorpedo FluffyTorpedo · 3d · Edited

What do you call a bagel that can fly

a Plane Bagel

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FluffyTorpedo FluffyTorpedo · 3d · Edited

When is the right time to go to the dentist

Tooth Hurty

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What do you call a guy that can float?
Boy-yant

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Man with a beard 100 years ago: “OK, I’ll go chop down some trees.”

Man with a beard now: “I found a great face mask that’s gluten-free.”

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I ran into an old friend the other day.

I was arrested for driving under the influence.

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WhoAreYou
WhoAreYou · 22h

anti joke?

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Thaphoe Thaphoe · 8d

I heard of this candy who rarely talks. Apparently, he has a speech peppermint.

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Dusty
Dusty · 8d

Boo, this sucks!

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 8d

No you suck XD

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 8d

JK

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 8d

You should've saw that coming

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Thaphoe
Thaphoe · 8d

It does, but not for free. However, this unoriginal comeback I found was free.

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 8d

My social studies teacher said the worse the pun the better it is

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Thaphoe
Thaphoe · 8d

If that's the case, thanks Dusty!

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The name's Hugh
Hugh Jass

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Boy: Girl... I have something to say...
Girl: Lemme guess...
Boy: I think... I have a Crush on you...
Girl: Wow, you are the same as the other boys. What makes you so special, huh?
Boy: Because... I have a Crush on you.
(Boy opens a bottle of Crush soda, and pours it over Girl's head)
Girl: HEY!
(Boy is away)
Girl: He's actually pretty good...

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I have some math homework I need to finish, I minus well work on it.

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So I heard that there is going to be a mushroom band, but they haven't gotten decomposer yet.

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In School.
Teacher: "Do you know anyone, who died in a german concentration camp?"
Paul: "Yes, I do. My great grandfather!"
Teacher: "Oh, you're jewish? I didn't know!"
Paul: "Oh, no. He was a guard, and fell drunk from a Tower."

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SaladDressing
SaladDressing · 13d

Dark humor at its finest

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Son: "Dad, do you want to know what the Pizza guy says to Mom, when you are at work?"
Dad: "Yes, I do..."
Son: "Well, that costs 10$..."
Dad sighs, and gives his son the Money. "So?"
Son: "He says 'good evening Mrs Miller. Here is your Pizza!' "

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Dusty Dusty · 14d

I'm at this weird chick's house. She invited me in for cake, and now she's trying to seduce me. Bitch, where's the damn cake?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 14d

*A child asked to his father *
Child : Dad how many names does a human have?
Dad: Two names the first one his / her real name and second one his / her nickname.
Child: How many names do my mom have?
Dad: only one.
Child: No you are lying, she have a nick name.
Dad: How?
Child: When you leave for your work, our neighbor calls her darling.

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