A place to submit how God created animals.
God Creating the Kimono Dragon:
God: Make a big ass lizard that spits out slimy venom.
Angel: Anything else? How about Wings?
God: neh that shit is for pussies.
Angel: Okay. Well We'll get on--
God; Oh, and give it 2 pensises lol
Angel: Of for Fu--!
God: Lets make another member of the Giraffidae family. This time, make it less weird and paint it brown.
Angel: Uh sir, we ran out of limb parts for the legs!
God: Just use the leftover zebra parts. They should fit just as well.
God: You know that book, "Dracula"?
God: Make a bat based off him. Blood sucking, ya know?
Angel: We ran out of bat parts...
God: Eh, just make a tiny bug instead. And also, make it one of the most annoying organisms on Earth.
God Creating Gorillas:
God: ...aaaaand, that should be it for my new animal! What do you think of it, Angel?
Angel: Oh, wow, it kind of looks like that other animal we made a while back; if I remember, it was the human?
God: Yes, the new Gorilla looks a lot like the human!
Angel: Wow! It must be really sophisticated like the Human!
God: Actually, no, it throws fruit at anyone who passes by.
God: Oh, and it shreds you to pieces if you disturb it.
God: Oh, and it's odour is horrendous–
Angel: MY GOD, GOD! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!
God: Oh, stop being so picky!
God Creating Whales
God: Hey, Angel! Remember that Pakicetus we made?
Angel: Oh, yeah! It was so cute!
God: Yeah, well it's been a while, and I'd like to see how it's do–SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS!!!
God: NOT YOU! OUR PAKICETUS HAS GONE BACK INTO THE WATER AND BECAME THE HUGEST FISH I'VE EVER SEEN!
Angel: Oh my god! Well, since it's not technically a Pakicetus anymore, I guess we should give it a different name!
God: Yes! We have just given birth to the whale!
Angel: Humans,at some point, made books and movies called "Harry Potter".
God: Hm... Y'know those spiders we made?
Angel: Uhm... Why?
God: Make one of them look like something from that Harry Potter stuff! Humans will love it!
Angel: But it's still a spi-
God: DO IT!
And hence, that spider that looks like the Sorting Hat.
God: Remember those wolves we made a while back?
Angel: Ah, yes, the wolf. Exellent hunters and group animals. Why?
God: I have a crazy idea.
Angel: And that idea would be...
God: We make them passive! And adorable!
Angel: God, what the hell are you doing?
God: And we could call them 'Dogs'.
Angel: That's... literally just your name spelled backwards.
God: I know, so creative!
Angel: Whatever. Wait, if they're passive, then how will they survive in the wild?
God: Hold on, I have another idea.
God: I'm tired of humans and their bullshit
Angel: remember, you promised not to punish people with water, so what can you do?
God: hand me the blueprints for that bee creature I made last week
Angel: are you seriously considering turning a useful animal into a high tech weapon?
God creating the Possum (both Australian and American)
God: "I feel like we've made too many dangerous animals in Australia, lets make another cute one for them."
Angel: -holds up Ring-Tailed Possum- "How about this?"
God: "Great! Now make an ugly, evil version and put that one in America."
God: Let's make a potato, but add legs and fur!
God: And add face like a rabbit's!
God: And when its shaved make it look like a hippo!
Angel: Um.... are you sure about this?
God: And call it a guinea pig!
Angel: This is a bad idea.
God: You know what would be cool?
God: If i just made a sentient head.
God: With no bones
God: And give it a fish-looking butt
God: And give it a nose that squidward would be jealous of.
Angel: This is a bad idea
God: And lets call it a blobfish because i'm out of names.
Angel: Go home god you're drunk.
Angel: So, I need to tell you someth-
God: Be quiet! I just got an amazing idea!
Angel: But it's really impor-
God: I want to recreate the dragons!Not those stupid Chinese dragons, REAL dragons! Get the animal parts!
Angel: God! The other angels took the animal part box to get a refill!
Angel: All we have right now is a tail, a mouth, and venomous fangs.
God: ...I guess we'll be making Chinese dragons after all...very, very small Chinese dragons.
God creates scorpions and spiders:
Angel: How are those bugs coming along?
God: Good. Take a look at this guy...
Angel: Aww. It's so cute...
God: I know, that's why I gave it the stinger on the end of it's tail.
Angel: Huh! (jumps back) Why would you do that?
God: Because I thought the claws I gave it made it look too much like a crab.
Angel: *sigh* Why do you make every creature look cute and cuddly and then weaponise them?
God: I do not!
Angel: What about the tarantula?
God: That's cute and cuddly...
Angel: It was until you gave it massive fangs and venom!
God: Well... That's your opinion. I find them adorable and peaceful creatures. They wouldn't hurt a fly...