A place to submit how God created animals.
(Not an animal, but...) GOD CREATING EARTH - Angel: OK, (puts triangle earth, cube earth and sphere earth on table) what shape will you choose for earth? God: (Points at sphere earth) I like that one. Angel: but what if humans think it's fla-(slapped)
God: Take a horse and stretch its neck out as far as you can
Angel: Ummm okay anything else?
God: give it a ton of spots. Ohhhh and a huge black tongue!
Angel: God, you are high.
God: Alright... we need a new bird species... what should we give it?
Angel 1: pretty colors!
God: not bad
Angel 2: maybe you could keep them as pets?
God: even better
Angel 3: *high af* how about it can say words like a human
God: okay so blobfish
Angel: whats the fin structure-
God: LETS MAKE IT A RANDOM PINK BLOB
Angel 2: god wait-
God: WITH GAPING BLACK HOLES FOR EYES
God: AND IT LOOKS WEIRD
Angel 3: ffs god
God creating penguins
Penguin: Hey God now its my turn to be created!
God: Ok, but you don’t have so much to choose from.
Penguin: I want beautiful colors!
God: Nahh we ran out of colors so you’ll get black and white.
Penguin: Then I want big beautiful wings so i can fly!
God: No you won’t need to fly, you’ll just swim after fish.
Penguin: Atleast give me a nice warm place to live!
God: No there is no more space there, But there is alot of space in the Antartis!
Penguin: Aww God why?!
(God creates the fly)
God: Make a tiny thing that flys
God: And make it as annoying as possible
God: Oh! Don’t forget to make it vomit every where!
Angel:...you’re kidding, right?
(God creating the octopus)
God: So give it 6 legs and 2 arms
Angel: Umm, k?
God: also, make sure each limb has it’s own brain because we need smart tentacle porn
Angel: [thinking God is insane] wait can I stop you for a second
God: .....and of course three hearts
Angel: seriously do we need to talk
God: CAMOUFLAGE. It needs CAMOUFLAGE
Angel: *sigh* ok what else
God: make it able to shape shift
God:........………......make it excrete black ink
Angel: okay we are done here
Angel: what the h e c k do you want now
God: I forgot I wanted to add sucker things to the legs and arms
God: make it’s eyes huge too and give it limb regeneration
Angel: Okay ONE more thing and we’re done
God: give it the beak of a bird
Angel: and what is this monstrosity going to be called sir?
God: the “octopus,” but make sure that the plural of it is debated for like thousands of years
Angel: b r i l l i a n t