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God Creating Animals
God Creating Animals

A place to submit how God created animals.

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God creating giraffes

God: just make a hairy longneck dinosaur

Angel: were out of big tails!

God:make it a hairy hippo tail

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Platypus:

God: ok so you can make this one, but make sure it's unique and one of a kind
Angel: aha!! I know just the thing... ;)
God: good good, what are you thinking?
Angel: well it will be able to swim, I'll shove a weird beak on it and then give it fur with a weird flat wide tail cuz why not

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God creating the cow: Ok, that's good.
Angel: ok
God: Hmmm... maybe you should add a human cow?
Angel: Erm, ok...
God: Yeah, and he'll make videos and have his own website.

Sound familiar?

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Idunno
Idunno · 1d

Hmm...no, doesn't sound familiar at all.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

God creating the snake:

GOD: Make an animal that hisses and somewhat looks like the human male reproduction organ
Angel: uhhh....ok then
GOD: Dont't forget to call it whatever his name was from Metal gear
Angel: Raken?
GOD: No the other one

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3d

God creating the human:

GOD: Make it like me but it hates other versions of itself.
Angel: What?
GOD: Make sure they all think different things about me
Angel: We don't have the capacity for that
GOD: I said, make shitty versions of me for fucks sake.

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Cilidiaz
Cilidiaz · 3d

Another true fan of the Bible...

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God: It needs to be fat and fast
Angel: how am I supposed to do that?
God: I don't care figure it out, make sure it has enough room in its mouth to be able to eat a seven year old in one bite
Angel: Um... ok

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HornetSniper35
HornetSniper35 · 5d

Forgot to mention, hippopotamus

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Moustacher
Moustacher · 5d

you can edit your post

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Anonymous Anonymous · 5d

Unicorns:
God: Okay, take a horse...
Angel: Done!
God: Now, make it sparkle!
Angel: Kay, done!
God: Now, give it a majestic horn!
Angel: Alright. Looks good to me!
God: Yeah, it's perfect. Now, make it only exist in peoples heads!

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God creating mosquitoes.
God: This world is too perfect. We should add bloodsucking creatures that are really hard to hit.
Angel: Why?!
God: Don't worry. It'll work out. Oh ya, also lets make it so that they reproduce really quickly.
Angel: You're making living hell.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 6d

God creating cats
God: Make it hate everyone
Angel:Everyone??
God:EVERYONE AND THEIR BROTHER
Angel:And?
God: Make it water peoples eyes, but only some people
Angel: wtf why?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 6d

Blob fish
God: Hey, let's make a living blob.
Angel: Okay..?
God:Also, make it a swimming creature that humans make fun of for looking like a lump of nothing.
Angel: But why?
God: Trust me, it's a good idea.

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God creating sharks: Lets add teeth to a this dolphin

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Anonymous Anonymous · 8d

God: You know that evolution thing?
Angel: Yes?
God: Make an animal that speedruns it
Angel: wat
God: Also it has a long tongue
Angel: wtf
God: Call it a frog

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Anonymous Anonymous · 8d

[God creating Cows]
God:Make it where we drink its piss.

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farmarm farmarm · 9d

[God creating spiders]
God: How about a body with 8 legs, and it eats a bunch of bugs and stuff.
Angel: Ok dose not seem that bad.
God: It will also poop out its home that will also catch the bugs.
Angel: Um, that seems a bit weird.
God: Also, make some of them very hairy and have many eyes.
Angel: Ok, im done here.

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Dinosaurs
God: let's make a giant lizard that walks and eats other giant lizards and then have them wiped out by an asteroid!
Angel: wouldn't that just be a waste of time?

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God creating the mosquito:
Angel: Hey God, I bet you can't make an insect more annoying than the wasp!
God: Hold my beer--

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DinoDudeMike
DinoDudeMike · 11d

This was my 69th post ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 11d

thats cool

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DinoDudeMike
DinoDudeMike · 11d

Ur profile picture is freaking godlike

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DinoDudeMike
DinoDudeMike · 11d

i love it

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 11d

Thanks :D

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Anonymous Anonymous · 12d

Creating humans:
God:"Let's make apes but, can somehow tell what snakes are saying and can eat the one thing they shouldn't."
Angels:"Umm.... why?"

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Creating the Carolina parakeet:

God: Lets make a bird.
Angel: Make it a parrot!
God:*makes a colorful parrot*
God: Oh, by the way, it will be extinct by the year 1920.
Angel: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

(search carolina parakeet on google images.)

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Anonymous Anonymous · 12d

Creating the Bony-Eared-Assfish:
I feel like roasting the shit of a small animal today.

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because he wanted too

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