A place to submit how God created animals.
God creating the walking stick
God: Ok let’s just take some random ass thing laying around here. Aha, a stick!
Angel: How are we gonna make that into something?
God: Just put tiny ass legs on it and call it a walking stick, literally what it is.
God: Lets make a rock
Angel: God that isn't an animal
God: Lets make it live in the middle of the ocean
Angel: What will it do
Angel: But it has to have some purpose
God: Fine make it venomous
Angel: How venomous
God: Make it able to Do the majority of the worst poison effects Oh and make it fast enough to bite off a leg
God Creating the Giant Isopod:
God: Let's take a roly poly and make it ten times larger.
Angel: My god, God...
God: What about me?
God: Oh, and let's put it underwater and give it the ability to swim.
God: I wanna make something else now
Angel: but we're all out of materials, the next delivery isn't for weeks!
God: nah look, we got some scraps here, let's just throw them together. Improvise, adapt,overcome.
Angel: but...it has no brain...
God: Improvise, adapt, overcome.
God in 200,000 BC: Let's make a naked monkey with no tail and no physical attributes which will make it any good at hunting prey or escaping predators but make it really smart and see how long it survives.
God in 2017: Fuck, what have I done.