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Insults
Insults

A place to submit funny insults.

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Therapist: so what's been happening?
Her: he keeps making fat jokes
Therapist turning to husband: Is it true?
Him: no, i don't listen to elephants

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bully: Gimme your lunch money!!!
me: oh sorry I can't give it to you right now, I left it in your mom's bed.
bully: what!!??
me: ill bring it to you tomorrow, because I'm going to visit her again tonight!

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I'm being completely honest when I say that I would rather be talking to a stuffed cactus instead of you. More intelligent.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 13d

No amount of alcohol in the world could make me think you look good.

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Roses are Red
Violets are blue
If you are a hater
Then fuck you🖕

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Anonymous Anonymous · 28d

I told someone who was born on April 1st that their entire life is a joke. They then stabbed me with a pencil, it hurt... Worth it?

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MaliciousOctopus MaliciousOctopus · 1mo · Edited

I'd roast you, but burning trash creates toxic chemicals which, in your case, would drive every species on Earth to extinction.

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You Dingorp!
(pronounced Ding-Gorp)

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CyanTheBlizzard CyanTheBlizzard · 1mo · Edited

"Jesus fucking christ, you're ego is as big as the universe!"

Perfect for show-offs and know-it-alls.

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Woah there!
*points at ceiling*
watch your ego! It might hit the ceiling.

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You're bullshit and I'm allergic to bullshit

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

Damn you to hell, you numb-nutted fudge- for-brains BLOODY HAMROLL!!
(For those of you who watch memeulous, you get the last two words.Also for those of you who don’t watch memeulous, you should definitely start and als sub to him.)

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monkeyfu**cker it's an insult i made to call somebody so stupid they fu** with a monkey

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Jesus! Just make like a U-Haul and move!

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You're more useless than a Nokia Protective Case!

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You're more useless than a British Dentist!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2mo

So my internet nick us usually "Diakon(something)" and recently somebody called me a Daikon.
For reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daikon

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Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Now go away before I taunt you a second time, you silly English kniggit.

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You're supercalifragilisticexpialidociouSHIT

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Fang Fang · 2mo

“You’re an anti Jew”

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