A place to submit your "Today, I f*cked up..." (TIFU) stories.
Today I f*cked up. I walked downstairs and asked my mother to renew my RedTube subscription, but what I meant to say was my YouTube Red subscription. The worst part was that my entire family and more were right there staring at me like I had seven heads. It was not a good time...
The dean of our school gathered us in the gym to tell us that there was to be no more roasting of others. I thought to myself "That's what she said" and the realised I just yelled it out loud. Suspended for 2 weeks.
(This is really an asshole friend story, but I was also kind of to blame for not catching it sooner)
One of my 'friends' went into my phone and swapped my exe's name and my gf's name. So, when my actual gf started texting me, I told her to fuck off. Luckily it was all resolved, though.
My dog and I were at the park, when we walked home I noticed that the dog wasn't mine. I literally walked a whole block without noticing I had the wrong dog. I found my dog at the park, and the owner of the other dog was mad at me.
I was with my friends after school my friend had a box of chicken and chips he closes it I thought it was empty me being the ninja I am struck the box with one swift blow saying you don't want that I see the chicken lying on the floor and at that moment I jumped in front of a bus to avoid the beats I fucked up
I'm really good at history, but one of my best friends hates it. Our other friend didn't come to school for a few days, and she asked her, to tell her what did we learn about history, but she was busy, and she could only tell it later. I heard about this the day she came to school, and I was like "You know, you can ask me to tell what we learned about in history class, since I'm more likely to listen what the teacher says..." while I really meant, that if my best friend is busy, our other friend can ask me too, and I love history more anyways.
Now they think I was hinting that my best friend is terrible at history.
Today, while doing laundry my mom was pouring bad apple suace in the trash. Me being me, instead of throwing the dirty clothes from my siblings bed in the basket i was so focused on the trash, that i walked to the trashcan and threw the clothes in the trash joining the expired apple sauce.
i was eating a pie and drinking some water then mid conversation with my friend i poured my drink on the pie and took a swig of the tomato sauce. Her and I sat there staring at the soggy pie and my sauce splat i made on the ground as i spat it out.. it was a good pie too
I go to a boarding school and we had just watched, The town that dreaded sundown before bed. We thought it would be a good idea ti try and scare one of the nearby dorms who had also been watching it. I volunteered to go so I dressed up as the guy from the movie and when into there room. What I didn't realise is that the housemaster was in there and he hadn't seen the movie. As far as he was concerned, I had ran into the doom at 2:30 AM with a bag on my head and swore at him before running away giggling.We then found ourselves downstairs at 2:30 being interrogated by him.
I had juice in my hand and was about to get my laptop, instead of putting the juice down and getting my laptop I though "Nahhh" even though I could literally walk a few steps and put the juice down. So there I was placing my laptop down while holding juice and when I leaned to put the laptop down I forgot I was holding a cup of juice and it spilt on the laptop and my bed :).
Today,I looked up (You think I don't like swearing?Look at me in them chat lobbies!It's just this situation where "look" has its literal meaning). It was night time.I saw 2 small dots and the moon was in a crescent shape.One dot was Jupiter,the other was Mars,and the crescent of course was the moon.The three terrestrial bodies formed a creepy happy face staring right at me.Tip:Never look at the night sky if you don't trust your luck.You will regret what comes at you.