A place to submit Funny Text Conversations.
Me: *picture of sideways parked truck*
This dude literally took up 4 fucking spots that just baffles me.
Dad: Wow. Look at you cursing, big man.
Me: Oh crap wrong chat.
Dad: No fucking worries
Dad's girlfriend: 1$ in the swear jar (that does not exist)
Me: Shut up.
Friend 1: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Friend 1: Nothing they just waved
Friend 2: Ok
Friend 1: Did you sea what I did there?
Friend 2: No
Friend 1: I'm shore you did.
Friend 2: How do you have friends?
Friend 1: Don't be such a beach.
Group text to mom and dad
Daughter: dad I need you to watch the kids on 9/8/18!!!!!!!
Mom: whys that?????
Daughter: a friends wedding
Mom: if we're still alive
Daughter: not cool mom!
Mom: by then the cemetery will have wifi lol
Mom: DAUGHTER.....love ya
This just happened last night. (Group chat)
Friend #1: How did you get that screenshit?
Friend #1: *screenshot
Me: I screenshitted the picture friend #2 sent.
Friend #2: screenshit ????????????
Friend #1: apparently autocorrect hates me.
Friend #2: hahahaha
Me: Well, screenshit.
I don't usually curse so I'm going to start using screenshit instead of the s word from now on.
Person 1: My dad's in court right now.
Person 2: And I broke my leg. :( Why is he in court?
Person 1: He hit someone with his car by accident. I don't know who though. How did you break your leg?
Person 2: Someone hit me with their car.
Person 1: ...
Kid: Did you send my stuff yet? >:(
Mom: Sorry, I can't hear you. I think we have a bad connection. Try again later.
Kid: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmm that doesn't work with texts.
Person 1: I totally failed safety and health course today.
Person 2: How did you manage that?
Person 1: Well, one of the questions was "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Person 2: And?
Person 1: "F*ckin' large ones" was apparently the wrong answer.
Kid: Hey dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you said "No butter for a week"?
Kid: And when I killed that honeybee, you said "No honey for a week"?
Dad: Yeah. That was a month ago, so what?
Kid: Mom just killed a cockroach, should I break it to her?