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A place to submit Funny Text Conversations.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

You left your phone at home!

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Idunno
Idunno · 19h

Which one?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 10d

Hey can you text me "Why is my dad here?" I need it for a meme.
FBI: NIGGA HOW TF DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?

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Me: *Sends sister a cute picture of our dog*
Sister: Are you trying to kill me!?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 19d

Me: *picture of sideways parked truck*
This dude literally took up 4 fucking spots that just baffles me.
Dad: Wow. Look at you cursing, big man.
Me: Oh crap wrong chat.
Dad: No fucking worries
Dad's girlfriend: 1$ in the swear jar (that does not exist)
Me: Shut up.

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Hippo75300
Hippo75300 · 19d

You mean $3?

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Mkey Mkey · 23d

Friend 1: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Friend 1: Nothing they just waved
Friend 2: Ok
Friend 1: Did you sea what I did there?
Friend 2: No
Friend 1: I'm shore you did.
Friend 2: How do you have friends?
Friend 1: Don't be such a beach.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 24d

My Dad: I heard you guys had fun at IKEA, what was it my wife called the coat hanger?
My BF: She called it a dildo pole.
My Dad: She says she's so proud of you for actually typing it out.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 25d

Dad: can't wait to get busy tonight honey I got the condoms and the handcuffs

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Anonymous Anonymous · 25d

Group text to mom and dad

Daughter: dad I need you to watch the kids on 9/8/18!!!!!!!
Mom: whys that?????
Daughter: a friends wedding
Mom: if we're still alive
Daughter: not cool mom!
Mom: by then the cemetery will have wifi lol
Daughter: MOM!
Mom: DAUGHTER.....love ya

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Anonymous Anonymous · 28d

Dad: Spaghetti

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Shabsterz
Shabsterz · 27d

upsetti

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AllClaimsUSA

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Acheter Abonnement xbox live 12 mois

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

Girl To Boy: Hey you left your phone here last night. Come pick it up

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This just happened last night. (Group chat)

Friend #1: How did you get that screenshit?

Friend #1: *screenshot

Me: I screenshitted the picture friend #2 sent.

Friend #2: screenshit ????????????

Friend #1: apparently autocorrect hates me.

Friend #2: hahahaha

Me: Well, screenshit.

I don't usually curse so I'm going to start using screenshit instead of the s word from now on.

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Girl: I was wondering what IDK meant?

Boy: I don't know.

Girl: No one does!

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Dusty
Dusty · 1mo

ROFLSHIDMTAESMTARDTGIBISLBTSWFAWGMTITAFFOMFF!!

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WatermelonCat
WatermelonCat · 1mo

HALABODIKUOMIDLOPANUKOSWEANTERPOLEWORNIGINDIPOLKINOMAJULKORALABOMTASULAPOFFTERALOMAGTER!

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Linnon Linnon · 1mo

Girl: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Person: What?
Girl: JAKE ASKED ME OUT!
Person: OMG! When?
Girl: JUST NOW! We have a date for February 30th!
Person: Cas... there is no February 30th.

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Linnon Linnon · 1mo

Person 1: My dad's in court right now.
Person 2: And I broke my leg. :( Why is he in court?
Person 1: He hit someone with his car by accident. I don't know who though. How did you break your leg?
Person 2: Someone hit me with their car.
Person 1: ...

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Linnon Linnon · 1mo

Kid: Did you send my stuff yet? >:(
Mom: Sorry, I can't hear you. I think we have a bad connection. Try again later.
Kid: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmm that doesn't work with texts.

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Linnon Linnon · 1mo

Mom: You are in the biggest trouble you have ever been in.
Kid: Just tell me.
Mom: Not over text.
Kid: Why?
Mom: Because.
Kid: Did you find the bodies in the basement?
Mom: What are you talking about?
Kid: Nothing at all.

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Linnon Linnon · 1mo

Person 1: I totally failed safety and health course today.
Person 2: How did you manage that?
Person 1: Well, one of the questions was "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Person 2: And?
Person 1: "F*ckin' large ones" was apparently the wrong answer.

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Linnon Linnon · 1mo

Kid: Hey dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you said "No butter for a week"?
Dad: Yeah?
Kid: And when I killed that honeybee, you said "No honey for a week"?
Dad: Yeah. That was a month ago, so what?
Kid: Mom just killed a cockroach, should I break it to her?
Dad: ...

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