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That Drunk
That Drunk

A place to submit your That Drunk stories.

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Juice10 Juice10 · 2d

Drunk dude: "Guys guess what time it is"
Everyone else: "What"
Drunk dude: "ITS 4:20!!!"

PPPPPBBBBLLLLTTTTT

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"I wasn't that drunk. I drove myself home."
"Dude. Don't even try denying it."
"?"
"I drove you home while you drove with a paper plate."
"Oh. I thought that was a dream."
"Idiot."

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"Hey babe."
"Yeah?"
"I gotta tell you something."
"It's 3:38 AM."
"Take it seriously."
"What?"
"I am the batman."
"You're drunk, aren't you?"
"Yeah..."

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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Are you kidding me? You opened up a bunch of tampons and said they looked like little ghosts, and you tried to 'haunt' me for awhile."
"They do kinda look like ghosts."

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"Son, you're late for dinner. Get home now."
"No. I'm on my way to Narnia!"
"You're drunk, aren't you?"
"No. What makes you think that?"
"Where do you live then?"
"In an oversized mushroom in smurf village."

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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, in Walmart when the intercom came on, you dropped to your knees and screamed 'THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!'"
"Awesome."

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FRIEND: I wasn't that drunk.

ME: Dude, you were rolling on the floor saying "Look at me, I'm Metroid!"

FRIEND: Yeah, so?

ME: Her name's Samus, you dipstick!

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Lokin Lokin · 11d

"I wasn't even that drunk."
"Dude, you walked up to a black guy and asked him why he wouldn't return the Heart of Tafiti."
"I never even saw Moana..."
"We did that night"

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Nightwoods
Nightwoods · 10d

How would he know what the Heart of Tafiti was if he didn't see Moana? XD

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Lokin
Lokin · 8d

That drunk

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Nightwoods
Nightwoods · 7d

Lol.

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Nightwoods Nightwoods · 11d · Edited

"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, you cut open all my pineapples while shouting 'SPONGEBOB, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!'"

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Anonymous Anonymous · 11d

"I wasn't even that drunk."
"Dude...People asked for a lighter and you gave them more cigarettes"

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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, you ran through my house, clicking all my pens, saying, "Come on, Riptide, I need you!."
"..."

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Calbel
Calbel · 12d

Test test test test trenrjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjjddjjdjsjdjjjsjsjssssjjsjssjjsjssjjsjsjsjsjsjjs

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Calbel
Calbel · 12d

Oh I can't delete my comment on mobile - please ignore, was just testing a site bug I think I've found :)

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 12d

It's fine, no worries :D

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Anonymous
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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, you were driving my car, and you wouldn't stop screaming "BACK TO THE FUTURE!"."

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Reviani
Reviani · 10d

When this drunk reaches 88 mph you're gonna see.. a car crash.

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URockMyWorld
URockMyWorld · 10d

XD

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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, you were hugging this ginger, yelling, "RON WEASLEY I LOVE YOU!"."
"That's not too bad..."
"Then you ran into a wall, trying to get to "Platform 9 3/4"."
"..."
"I told you."

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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, you grabbed a knife, and told me to throw fruit at you. And when I did, you wouldn't stop screaming, "I AM THE FRUIT NINJA!"."
"Was I any good?"
"No."

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"I wasn't that drunk"
"Dude, last night, you put on your mother's red shoes, grabbed your dog, ran all over your house, screaming, "We're off to see the wizard!"."

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"I wasn't that drunk"
"Dude, you petted my cat, saying, "WOW, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS LION!"."
"At least it was yellow."
"My cat's gray..."

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Anonymous
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I Was`nt That Drunk,
Dude, You asked your girlfriend if she was single.
Really?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 24d

I wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, you went into a panic for ten solid minutes panicking about how the oceans were flooding

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Anonymous Anonymous · 24d

you burst into my room and proceeded to read the bee movie script for an hour

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"I wasn't that drunk."
"Dude, you threw a red ball at my cat, screaming "ANGRY BIRDS!!""

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