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Total Dad Moves
Total Dad Moves

A place to submit Total Dad Moves.

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One beautiful December night, my dad and I went to JcPenney just to look around at all of the Christmas decorations. They put up big displays of various Christmas folktales, and when we got to the Nut-cracker display, Dad exclaimed, "Look, Nate! It's the Nut-cracker! Also known as, YOUR MOTHER!" He gave me the most unremorseful face I have ever seen. I swear to God they were about about seven kids near us and plenty of adults staring. A couple giggled, but that didn't break the embarrassing silence. At that very moment. I understood why my parents never got along.

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My dad has a bunch of generic white dad friends; Birkenstocks with socks, brown army shorts and white polo t-shirts. So one time they were gathering at this house for some bbq and I walked into the room like ' Dad I'm hungry wheres the sausages' and they all just stared at me and I realised what a shit move I made. And I swear to god this is real, they said in unison, "hi hungry im dad'

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*doesn't make a sports team* " *pats kid on the back while saying "its ok You will make it next time", followed by buying him/her whatever they want so they feel better.

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DynazT DynazT · 2mo

"Dad, whats for supper/lunch?"

"Food."

This happens just about every time i ask my dad this question.

EVERY. DARN. TIME.

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_arnx_ _arnx_ · 2mo

my dad ran out onto my school oval and dabbed. I almost imploded.

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He texts all of his kids, nieces, and his sister a video of the "Feats of Magnificence" every morning. The first one was the "napkin trick" where you put a napkin to your face and just stick your touge out, then that trick where you put a rubber glove on your head and blow it up with your nose (and ended up actually launching it off his head), and the most recent, saying he thought hard on how to top the last one, his "Feat of Magnificence"- his feet. It all ended with a dad joke. He even got my grandpa to help with some. 2 generations of dad jokes.

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Dasas Dasas · 3mo

(True Story)
Me: "Mom, can I get Call of Duty WWII? It just came out yesterday!"
Mom: "How much is it?"
Me: "...Seventy nine dollars..."
Mom: "NOPE! WE ARE DEFINETLY NOT GOING TO BU--"
Dad: "Sure, we can get that game." *Starts driving to GameStop*

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Dad: *guzzles down two bottles of beer*
Dad: "Hey, look what I can do!"

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"So, you got a girlfriend yet?"

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Kaito Kaito · 4mo

*goes to the store for 18 years*

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Anonymous Anonymous · 4mo

(True story, sadly.) Dad makes whipped cream.
Mom: What did you make?
Dad: Stuff.
Dad: Wanna taste my whipped cream?

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T_HH2 T_HH2 · 5mo

Dad I'm ____
Hey ______ I'm dad.

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T_HH2 T_HH2 · 5mo

Vuid

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Anonymous Anonymous · 7mo

Going to bed shirtless

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Kid: Dad, I'm hungry!
Dad: Hi hungry! I'm Dad!
*Dad forgets to feed the child*

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Anonymous Anonymous · 7mo

My Dad phoned his Mum to tell her she was a Grandma when I was born.
She asked "What is it"
My Dad replied "A baby"

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Tell you "You're just like your mother!" when you mess something up.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 7mo

Can only make burgers and hotdogs and can barely call the right number for takeout when he has to cook

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*dad does obnoxious sh*t*
Me: Do you mind?
Dad: No, I babysit.

Every f*cking time.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 8mo

**79 degrees outside**

"Wear your heavy jacket when you leave!!!!!!!!!"

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