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Total Mom Moves
Total Mom Moves

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On one sunday, my mom made everyone get ready for church. Once everyone was already ready to go, she walks out of her room and says, "where are you guys going? Im going to lagoon." (theme park in utah) I was so confused.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

i'll just go shopping for milk and salmon
*gets to the shop*
9 hours later*
"okay we have evrything"
*items in cart*
3 different thingies of lip stick
green onion
beef brisket
3 bottles of lotion
ice cream
soy sauce
eggos
lunchables
milk
salmon

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So true

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I don't know if this is all mom's or just mine but she'll constantly show me pictures of the Rock and tell me how hot he is.

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(gets something)
(says thank you)
"What do you say?"
"I said thank you"
"You didn't!"

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

*brother gets in trouble and gets his iPad taken away*
*mom really mad*
Mom:get off your iPad
Me:why
Mom:BECAUSE I SAID SO

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me: help my lungs are failing
mom: it's because of that phone

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

Mom: ok, everytime you run on the treadmill, you get to use your laptop.
Me: *runs on treadmill* Can I use the laptop?
Mom: no
Me: But you said-
Mom: DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!!!!!!

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Rated EC allowed for all
Rated E allowed 10 +
Rated E10+ Allowed 12+
Rated T and up not allowed in the house because it causes aggression

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Your sisters can hear you swearing... are you getting upset at your video games again?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

Mom: Don't eat after 6
Me:*Proceeds to eat 3 slices of cake the very next day, I'm still skinny.*

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Euban Euban · 3mo

"Those game developers probably live in their parents basement"! "Actually, game developers get paid a ton and live pretty well." "Oh no son, They've brain washed you! Don't believe those, those...Monsters!"

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Euban Euban · 3mo

Son, you seem to be in a bad mood. Was it those interwebsters again?

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Ermak Ermak · 3mo

Mom: Hey Ermak wanna take the trash out?
Me: not really
Mom: ok, go take the trash out

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Mom: "SARAPHINA!"
Me: "YES?"
Mom: .........
Me: .......
Mom: "SARAPHINA!!! YOU NEVER ANSWER ME!!!"

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

Mom - I'll be back in 20 minutes. *comes back 3 hours later*

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

She blames everything on the computer.
"You're tired? It's because of the computer!"
"You're hungry? It's because of the computer!"
"You're head hurts? It's because of that d*mn computer!"

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“Just pause it, sweetie."

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

“What are you watching?”
“The Emoji Movie.”
“Isn’t that rated R.”

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I don't know if it's a common practice in other countries, but in Jamaica, its pretty common. So when Mom sees something on their child's face they call the child put spit on their finger or wherever on their hand (depends on how large the mess is on your face) and says 'tan still' and wipes your face and the mess off and then send you on your way. For me, its a very traumatic experience.

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