A place to submit Funny Yahoo Answers.
How come santa claus didnt bring me kim kardashian for christmas?
"Ew no! do no longer taint Santa like that, it truly is no longer effective. additionally end implying or asserting she has slept with all people. She hasn't slept with all people from Y!A exceptionally P&S. See she's ignored some."
Why didnt Santie Claus come to my house last christmas..?
it's kinda like this.
"You were bad".
Santa didn't think it was funny that you set out about ten glue traps around your Christmas tree.
Three of the elves got their feet stuck in them and Santa spent the better part of two hours trying to get them "unstuck". That threw him so far behind on schedule that he had to just take out his .45 and pop a cap in 'em.
Elves don't come cheap Kyle.
Santa paid alot of money for them.
In fact, Kyle.....Santa is so mad he said he's gonna take your first born child and put him to work in the toy factory.
......and that's why he didn't come to your house last Christmas.
*Please don't ask me why the Easter Rabbit is pizzed at you."
How animal know to evolve?
Evolution is when animals DNA mutated. I understand that they evolve to adapt to live in their environment. But how do they know? Can DNA think?
Do midgets have night vision?
One of my friends told me that midgets have night vision but I wasn't sure if it was true. I know a little person from school so i called him up and asked him. He didn't say anything and just hung up so im pretty confused. Can anyone help me?
Update: thanks for the answers but im still a little confused. does she think i made fun of her night vision? or that its just a rumor and that offended her?
"yeah they actually do. its a genetic advantage to make up for their lack of height when hunting in the open fields. it's lethal
lord of the rings"
question: How do you train an adult to close the bathroom door when they have a poo?
"If I eat fireflies will I glow in the dark?"
No, but if you shove one down your pants your butt hole will light up every time you fart. Always a great memory to make when sitting around a campfire. -RaSkipper
What happens if you bite your brachial artery near your elbow crease?
Is Japan really misogynist or is it just another feminist myth to take down men?
Let me tell you about what's happening in Japan:
60% of Japanese men under the age of 35 identified themselves as "herbivore men". They have a lack of interest in relationships and sex, and are not active in pursuing women. Many of them stay out of the dating scene altogether, and the ones who DO date, refuse to be involved with women who won't pay their own way. They not only refuse to be protectors and providers for women, but reject the notion of traditional masculinity altogether. The statistic was done in 2009, and it is actually possible that it is more than 60%, as women in Japan seem to be having an awfully hard time finding non-herbivore men.
They go their own way - and they don't go out of their way to impress women. They pursue their own hobbies, and go for smaller but more fulfilling jobs or create self employment, rather than bust their *** to make money.
They spend a lot of time on their personal appearance, almost as much as women, which you will consider effeminate - but hey - they don't live their lives to impress women.
Women are of course, threatened by this. They can no longer control those men, or leech money and resources from them. Many sexist women (and possibly some self-hating manginas) have criticized them, even called them names, for not being typical macho manly men. Of course, if a man did the same thing to a woman who wasn't womanly enough, it would be called sexist, so there is obviously a double standard there. Whether you want to call them effeminate or not is up to you - it doesn't matter either way - but to me, they're simply rejecting male servitude and going their own way.
Paul from A Voice for Men radio believed that this may have been a backlash of the feminist movement. Here in the west - feminism started at a time when women did not have rights, and gender roles were a requirement. Feminism got women their rights, which
Women won't do anything for you sexually until you spend a lot of money on them?
In high school you could just buy them an ice cream cone, now they want a car or a wedding ring, or expensive vacation. Am I right fellas?
"Man your from the stone ages how old are these women 60,70, welfare mom's. Now days women have jobs, business owners, mother and father.. they don't need money from a man."
You could throw all your money on me and I still wouldn't give you sex. Sorry pal."
Should I tell the girl I'm dating I'm not circum cised and if so, how?
That pretty much says it there. I'm lonely and want a girlfriend and I'm not circumcised. Should the girl's background make a difference (ex. black, white, latino?) I want to find a mate but I dont want someone who's gonna tell me to mutilate my genitals. Should I tell the girl and if so, how?
Why do doctors wear pajamas to work? what happened to days of a necktie?
"Ask doctor Phil....HE KNOWS BEST!!!!
Source(s): "Catch me outside how about that".......ironic isn't it....muahahaha!"
Why does god fart in my ear?
"Why do you reckon that god gives a sh*t about an insignificant little d*ckh**d like you ? He wouldn't waste a good f*art."
"To remind you that your his *****"
"Next time there is a full moon, Go outside and spit at it.it will land directly in your face.
Insulting God is like that, He is one and only, Eternal and the only absolute, Thats why we say God is the Greatest.
Source(s): silly atheists."
Question: Do you see Donald Trump as a tough president like Reagan or Theodore Roosevelt?
I did some bad things on omegle , and showed my face if i become a celebrity , will i get into trouble? HELP?
Please help , i got naked on omegle and i even showed my face ! I heard ppl can record me . I want to become a celebrity, so if i become one im afraid i'll get into lots of trouble and just hate my life . please help im so scared ! ?
"Lmao, me and my friend went on omegle once, it was just masturbating guys or pervs wanting to see boobs.
WHY THE HELL DID YOU GO NAKED?
No one knows who you are, and if you ever do become one then no one will remember probably. BUT if they do, I guess it's more fame.
Source(s): Helping retarded sluts worldwide."
"You're not going to be a celebrity. Problem solved."
Is it okay to boil headphones?
I let my younger brother use my headphones, and he used them for evil. He listened to the absolute WORST music on the planet, and I am so ashamed. He stole me headphones' innocence. Can I boil them, in attempt to drive the evil out?
If not, how can I get rid of the evil in them?
Source(s): Get 100% Free Phone : http://FreeCellPhones.iukiy.com/?edlU"
"It's not just your headphones that need boiling, it's the collection of "evil" music that was played through them. I think scorching hot oil should do the trick. And once their done, force your brother to eat them while they are still piping hot. That should drive the evil out of everything
Source(s): You ask a silly question, you get a silly answer."
"If it was that screamo bullshit that sounds like someones dieing then please, by all means,
Actually, Dont just boil them. You have to drive these demons, back to the pits of fiery hell they once came from,
go out, buy a flamethrower (which are apperently 100% legal in america... and cheap too...) and BURN IT WITH ******* FIRE!"
POLL: Men and women--when was the last time you had an erection?
"Right now. Its about 9inches right now ;D"
What happens to the people born on Feb.. 29????? do the they stay one until 4 years past??
"They get locked up in a secret labratory in Iowa and are let loose every four years."
What do prostitutes wear during winter?
Like seriously, how are they supposed to dress all prostitutey if it's 0 degrees outside? They'd freeze. And obviously you wouldnt be able to tell theyre hookers if theyre all covered up.
"those that artwork the streets nonetheless artwork the streets in the course of the iciness. no longer an truly pleasant artwork ecosystem The escorts and different larger classification ones do incall or outcall and do not ought to worry about the elements"
"If they're well known and have a good pimp, he should be able to set up dates in room or something, instead of them street-walking."
Are there gravity in India?
Do they got spicy food or good food? I heard in Swedewald, the toilets flush upwards.