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Anonymous Anonymous · 43m

One day, Idunno went to the hospital to have some plastic surgery. Keela was at the front desk.

Idunno: Keela, I have a devastating problem!

Keela: What? Heart failure? Internal bleeding? A roommate who listens to Justin Bieber? What is it? What? What? WHAT?

Idunno: I want to change my look! I'm tired of being a troll face with a strangely thin body! Change me into a Limbo character with a bloody baseball bat!

Keela: Okay, I will send you up to some albino cat to get your surgery.

Idunno: Ya mean Cilidiaz?

Keela: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

So, Idunno ran up to "the albino cat" to get surgery.

Cilidiaz: So, uh, you want to possess a completely different appearance?

Idunno: Well, of course! Isn't that what all plastic surgery is?

Cilidiaz: Uh, yeah, now get on the bed and take your anesthetics.

Idunno did dat and then Cilidiaz started surgery. Of course, changing a slender stick figure with a troll face with a head into a Limbo character with a healthy bubble body was not easy, but Cilidiaz could do it. She could do it with intense work, lots of sleep and coaching, and tons of focus. After eight weeks of surgery, the deed was finally done.

Cildiaz: Oh my god, it's been like two years, and now I'm finally done with the surgery! This is one of the most satisfying moments of my life!

Cilidiaz woke up Idunno and he took a look at himself in the mirror.

Idunno: Wow, you did such a great job! You even replaced my bloody knife with a bloody baseball bat!

Cilidiaz: Oh, it was no problem! It was only THE MOST HORRIFIC AND TIRING EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE FIVE MONTHS OF EXISTENCE!

So, Idunno payed Cilidiaz a fortune, and he walked outside to the world, after eight weeks of being in the hospital. So, he went and lived his life, while no one recognised who he was.

ThEnd

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Cilidiaz · 36m

Amazing story! But excuse me? Five months? I'm 2256 years old! I'm immortal thanks to the deal I made with Satan! By the way, Satanist helped me with the surgery, since she's a great surgeon, and a great doctor!

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Idunno
Idunno · 22m

This isn't what happened but nice story anyways :D

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Anonymous Anonymous · 19h

Once upon a time,
Calbel Land became a country! Yay! So, Calbel, the ruler (duh), immediately sent all Anonymous citizens to jail, because, who cares about them? They're just soulless spamming and trolling machines! No one should ever pay any respect to them! So, the users (now called citizens) were in a really nice building with the most comfortable things in the world.

FluffyTorpedo: Ugh! It sucks in here! There's no worse place anyone could be in!

Idunno: At least you're not in jail like the Anonymous!

FluffyTorpedo: *Pfft* Oh, who cares about them? They're worthless! They're stupid! They don't deserve to be independent beings!

CrystalMajestica: Well, maybe they are individuals?

FluffyTorpedo: *Gasping* What? How could you say such a thing? That's evil!

CrystalMajestica: Well, I just thought that since they are citizens, maybe they can be alive and working people.

Idunno: Wow, great speech!

CrystalMajestica: Thanks! Someone thinks Anonymous users are individuals!

Idunno: No, death to all Anonymous users! I just liked the way you used a speech to express your feelings!

CrystalMajestica: Oh...

Then, all of the user trollers and spammers came in.

FluffyTorpedo: Haha! My nice trollers and spammers! Even though you are probably just as worse than Anonymous trollers and spammers, I still respect you because you're USERS!

Spammers and Trollers: Yah, very noice. We shall SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM all day long.

A lot of spammers and trollers started emerging, because since the Anonymous were in miserable jails, the users were in control (a total nightmare), and bad stuff happened. The entire country collapsed before the fifth day. Maybe if they had Anonymous, they would not have suffered, but nobody gave a second thought about them. (Except CrystalMajestica, but she was executed on the second night for having her own opinions). Oh well, they'll never learn.

The End

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Cilidiaz · 11h

Why would having Anonymous people save the country? I just don't understand that. And most users (including me) wouldn't execute someone because they have their own opinion, and a lot of users would be on CrystalMajestica's side. I get it that many users don't like Anonymous people that much, and because of that they are mean to them sometimes, but that doesn't mean every user on the site wants to get rid of Anonymous people, and would execute someone for having an opinion, AND Calbel would NEVER send all Anonymous people to jail.

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 19h · Edited

Such a great story, the only part i didnt like was that i was like the bad guy :/, and okay okay, u think when i commented on your thingy, u thought of it as a Totally different thing, i was just telling u the reasons why we might think some of this stuff, but if im "Offending" you i will stop, trust me, ive done what ur doing right now, it was an arguement between me, cilidiaz, idunno, and Macintosh plus, all because macintosh plus was stating his mind, which is what i was doing except i wasnt being mean about it, (or atleast i dont think so) and yeah, dats it :/

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 19h

and heres something ill tell u, just have fun on this website, 1 depressed mood, makes much more depressed moods

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 19h

i think this is actually how people think bad of me XD, i dont really get much likes on my achievements and stuff, other people can do that, they get more likes, idk y but thats just how it works, and my Posting a lot really effects the way they see my other posts, u can put one of the best posts in 1 of my ideas, i bet it would only get like near 3-10 likes

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InvincibleForever
InvincibleForever · 18h

I'm with you, FluffyTorpedo. I like this story, but I hate how this person made you look bad.

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 17h

Xd

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Anonymous Anonymous · 19h

The Calbel Comedy Show

Calbel: Hey, sh*theads! Welcome to the Calbel Comedy Show! Today, two contestants are going to tell a joke, and then they will be rated! First contestant, Anonymous!

Anonymous walked onto stage.

Anonymous: Hey, everybody!

*Silence*

Anonymous: I heard that Shower Thoughts is getting very popular! You should check it out! WATER you waiting for?

*Crickets Chirping*

Anonymous: Well, you guys are a nice crowd!

*Cricket Chirping Intensifies*

Anonymous: Well, goodbye, everyone!

Anonymous walked off stage.

Calbel: Okay, next up is wrightentertainment!

wrightentertainment walks onto stage.

wrightentertainment: Hey, everybody!

Audience: Hello!

wrightentertainment: I heard that Shower Thoughts is getting very popular! You should check it out! WATER you waiting for?

Audience: *Laughing and Cheering*

wrightentertainment: *Bowing*

Audience: *Cheering*

wrightentertainment walks off stage.

Calbel: Well, now it's time to have the jokes rated, from one to ten! I need three people from the audience to cast a vote, and they will get a certain amount of points out of thirty! The person with the most points win! First, let's judge Anonymous' joke!

A ton of hands rose. Calbel picked three.

Volunteer #1: Well, it was pretty bad. Didn't like it. Zero.

Volunteer #2: Same here.

Volunteer #3: I agree with the last two.

Calbel: Okay, Anonymous has zero out of thirty points! What a loser!

Anonymous walks off disappointed.

Calbel: Okay, now wrightentertainment!

Calbel chose three people.

Volunteer #1: IT WAS AMAZING! I LOVED IT! PERFECT 10!

Volunteer #2: Same!

Volunteer #3: Same!

Calbel: That gives wrightentertainment a perfect score! Way to go, buddy!

wrightentertainment walks away with everyone cheering.

Calbel: Well, that's all for today! Tune in next time for even more comedy! See ya!

*Credits*

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evbe17 evbe17 · 20h · Edited

You can look under the bed, in the closet, or behind the door for the monster. Just don't look on the ceiling, she doesn't like being seen.

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Keela
Keela · 19h

This reminds me of insidious when the devil is on the ceiling above the child

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InvincibleForever · 18h

Why the heck did I read this right before I'm going to bed -_-

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FluffyTorpedo
FluffyTorpedo · 16h

Fels bad man Xd

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Keela
Keela · 8h

The devil is a beautiful specimen don't worry :D

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

Idunno's Greatest Scheme of All Time

We all know that Idunno is quite the schemer and murderer. Well, one scheme that he made on the planet of Uposs was probably his best scheme yet, and his best mass murder yet as well. Here it is:

Idunno was in his kitchen on Uposs when he stepped on a frozen pea, causing it to fly up and enter the sink drain. The pea was sharp, and when the pea ended up in the sewer, it hit a fish, causing it to jump up and hit a loose screw. That made the pipe roll out of the sewer and enter the door of an airplane. The pipe was too heavy and caused the plane to crash on an atom bomb, destroying part of the planet. That section of the planet hit Uposs' moon, causing it to collide with Uposs, which destroyed the core of Uposs, making Uposs implode.

So, I have heard Idunno has transferred to the planet of Earth after destroying Uposs. Let this be a warning to you. Since he destroyed Uposs, he might destroy Earth as well. Please be careful of him. Any small task he does might be a huge scheme, and might result in the entire planet getting destroyed. I repeat, please be careful around him. Authorities, this is why you must look out for Idunno. He's very clever, and you never know what he might do. Okay, this is Anony, signing out of the story.

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Idunno
Idunno · 1d

Oh, don't worry, I already have a plan >:)

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

NEW ARRIVALS IN INDIA!

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Hippo75300
Hippo75300 · 12h

Maybe it those horse people... or their cousins?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

Once upon a time,
There was a niBBa named Dusty. He was Bunky Bresh.
Bhe Bnd

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Dusty
Dusty · 20h

Just saying, I never got the whole 'B' thing with memes. Who was the braindead dumbass who made that a trend. Also, shh.

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evbe17 evbe17 · 1d

A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed.
However, the insistence of the woman had piqued his curiosity, so the next night he walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye. What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was incredibly pale. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the wide keyhole. This time, all he saw was redness. He couldn't make anything out besides a distinct red color, unmoving. He felt embarrassed that he had made the woman so uncomfortable, and hoped she had not made a complaint with the woman on the front desk.
At this point he decided to consult her for more information. She sighed and said, "Did you look through the keyhole?"
The man told her that he had and she said, "Well, I might as well tell you the story of what happened in that room. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in there, and we find that even now, whoever stays there gets very uncomfortable. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red."

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

Your browser history. Man, you look at that? DAILY?!

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InvincibleForever
InvincibleForever · 1d

Yes. I do look at that daily.

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Idunno Idunno · 1d · Edited

I won't do a 2nd part for this story, I just feel like writing. Also, this story actually happened yesterday in the Calbel.com discord chat...

Everyone here knows who Calbel is, but nobody knows his dark side. But yesterday that changed. Me and a couple others met this "other" Calbel. How, you ask? I'll tell you...Calbel kidnapped Kyriome, Cyborgaming, Cilidiaz and me. When we woke up, we were in his basement.
Idunno: Where the f*ck are we?
Calbel: In my basement. You're trapped, sorry.
Cyborgaming: Oh..WAIT WHAT?!
Idunno: Nice basement!
Kyriome: Hey, uh, why are there chains down here?
Calbel: It's just decoration
Idunno: I really like the blood on the wall!
Calbel: It adds a bit of colour to the room. Thanks for the support guys, I worked hard on the design.
Kyriome: Ooh, that skeleton looks realistic!
Calbel: Yeah, because it's real
Cyborgaming: ...
Calbel: 110% pure quality only
Idunno: NICE!!
Calbel: Thanks
Cyborgaming: Why are there 17 locks on the door? O.o
Calbel: In case someone tries to get in...or get out :D
Idunno: Are you going to kill us?
Calbel: I'm gonna read my book.
Cilidiaz: The Satanic Bible?
Calbel: Yep
Idunno: Why the f*ck are we in your basement if you're not going to kill us?!
Calbel: Because it's cozy
*Calbel leaves the room.*
We were trapped in his basement for 10,000 years, because time passes faster in Calbel's basement. Don't ask me why.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1d

Alright, CaaaCat was the first person to comment on my post! Here's her story!

Once upon a time,
There was a caaat named CaaaCat. One day, she noticed she had a cough. So, she was sent to the hospital to have her lungs replaced. So, she got to the hospital and they took her in the bed and into the operating room. The doctor's name was Cornholio. He was, let's say, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He started surgery with the anesthetics. He ripped a hole in her abdomen, and started surgery.

Cornholio (In Gay Accent): Okay, sweetheart! I'll be operating on you today! I hope you have fun during the surgery!

CaaaCat could not speak because the removal of skin on her abdomen was quite painful. Cornholio got a huge hammer and destroyed those ribs. CaaaCat was in unbearable pain. Then, he took the syringe and removed her spleen. He showed her her spleen.

Cornholio: Why, darlin'! You've got the prettiest spleen! It's red; my favourite colour!

CaaaCat: You're supposed to replaced my lungs, remember?

Cornholio: Oh, right!

He got his other syringe and looked all over for the lungs. He was dumb, so he didn't know where to look. He thought the lungs were under all the other organs. So, he removed her gallbladder, small intestines, large intestines, stomach, both kidneys, her liver, and lots and lots of tissue.

CaaaCat: Darn it! You're supposed to remove my LUNGS!

Cornholio: Oh, how stupid of me! They were here the entire time!

Cornholio tried to grab the lungs, but he couldn't, so he got the chainsaw and sawed a bunch of arteries. CaaaCat wasn't saying a word.

Cornholio: Wow, you're shy!

She didn't say anything. He removed her lungs, and also her heart, because it was rolling inside her. After stitching up, he realised CaaaCat had no organs.

Cornholio: Oh well! I'm also empty inside!

After a while, he realised CaaaCat was dead. So, he sent her body to the Central African Republic for starving kids to feast on her.

The End

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Kyriome Kyriome · 1d

Yello! As you may know, I currently have 3 stories currently going on. I want to know which one you like best. Please vote in the comments, Murder Tales, Welcome To The Water House (WTTWH for short), or Bob the carrot. Whichever story gets the most votes, for a week, every day I will post 2 parts of that story.

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Cilidiaz
Cilidiaz · 1d

WTTWH :D

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Kyriome Kyriome · 1d

Bob the carrot part 4

Several hours later, Bob woke up.

Bob: Huh? Where am I?
???: This is a cave.
Bob: Who are you?
???: I am Koozie.

AH HA! THAT'S THE B*STARD WHO'S MESSING WITH THE STORY!

Bob: Y-you're not a vegetable! How are you alive?! You're a cookie!
Koozie: Well, I'm a failed lab experiment. Instead of testing on a person, they decided to test on a piece of food. They wanted to create a super-soldier, but instead they just enlarged a cookie and gave it life. When they realized they failed, they tried to kill me. I ran, and found a hiding spot in their lab. I've been hiding there my whole life. But, my backstory doesn't matter. We need to get off Fruitopia. The people who were at the store have already left for the bridge.
Bob: The bridge?! Why not the subway?
Koozie: Well, uh...look outside.

Heheheh...Bob looked outside the cave. He saw lot's of dead bodies, lot's of fruit juice, and lot's of buildings in shambles.

Bob: WHAT THE H*LL?!
Koozie: It's the work of those Muncher things. The island's in ruins, so the subway is out of order. Come on, let's go to the bridge. It's only a few steps from here.

Bob and Koozie went to the bridge, where the other vegetables were waiting. They thought they would escape, but they were wrong.

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Space Hopper - Part 10

*WrightEntertainment walks down a long corridor, dragging a handcuffed Idunno and followed by Dr. Satanist who is pushing Sportacus in a wheelchair. Wright has a look of disdain upon his face*
Idunno [in German]: "Ich sage dir, der Narr spricht wahrheitsgemäß."
Wright: "Shut up! I've had enough of this tomfoolery!"
Satanist: "What did he say?"
Wright: "The same, the exact same!"
Satanist: "But it's nonsense, it can't be true."
Sportacus; "I assure you that it is doctor."
Wright: "If anything, it just proves you are working with the Germans."
Idunno: "Ich würde nie mit diesem Feigling arbeiten!"
Wright: "And that might as well be you just trying to defend him."
*They turn a left corner*
Wright: "The boss will set this straight."
Sportacus: "I fail to see how he could verify my story."
Satanist: "She has a way with getting the truth from others. However, she only ever does so in isolation."
Sportacus: "Sounds ominous..."
Wright: "It's no less than you deserve, you putrid spy."
*They reach a locked door, Satanist goes over and knocks*
Keela [from the other side]: "Who is it?"
Satanist: "Dr. Satanist and Mr. Entertainment, we've come to ask for help with our interrogation."
*The door unlocks and opens, Satanist enters, the door closes again*
Satanist [to Wright]: "Why've they left you outside?"
Wright: "Probably to guard you two. Now then would you both please be quiet and..."
*Idunno pulls his arms up and over Wright's head, pulling the chain of the handcuffs against Wright's throat*
Idunno [whispering, in English]: "...and be still."
*After a brief struggle, Wright faints. Idunno reaches down, picks up the sidearm Wright was carrying, then points it at Sportacus*
Idunno: "Now, be very quiet indeed."

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

Alroight, m8! This is Anony! If you want to participate, please comment on this post if you want me to make a story about you dying a brutal death! First person to comment will be the one who gets the story written about them! I will make the story after the comment is written!

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CaaaCat
CaaaCat · 1d

IM FIRST MAKE A SOTYR BOUT MEH

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CaaaCat
CaaaCat · 1d

FIRS

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

When I was little I used to go to the basement to play with my grandpa, and my mom asked "why do you go down there?" I said "to play with grandpa" and she showed me a picture of my grandpa and I said "yes that's him" my mom was mortified because my grandpa was dead years before I was born.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

Caves are fascinating.You don't know what's moving

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Part 2

Donna-" Yeah can I get a veggie pizza with stuffed crust and extra dip, thanks"
As soon as Donna hung up she felt a sharp pain in her neck, it started to get unbearable so she put an ice pack on it.
Donna put the phone back and and checked the time, 8pm she continued to watch TV but dozed off and fell asleep. She woke up as a 5 year old sitting at the table in her old house. There was a lady cooking something with her back turned, the lady turned around to show that it was Donnas deceased mum holding a plate of eggs and bacon. Her mother leaned into her and whispered "don't open the door". Donna screamed as she was back into her 15 year old self but she was standing at the edge of a highway with cars speeding past her, she saw a figure at the other end it looked like her dad
Dad-" Don't open the door!"
Donna-" What?"
Donna woke up back in her house,
Donna-" That was a wierd dream"
The doorbell rang, that must be the pizza she thought to herself. As she walked to the door she stopped abruptly,
Donna-" Wait? How long was I asleep for? Why is it dark out?"
She checked the clock, it was 1am the doorbell rang again and Donna looked through the peephole to see her dad staring at her before she could open the door she stopped again, something wasn't right, she didn't have the same feeling she had when her dad was near, the doorbell rang again
Donna-" Dad is that you? Why are you acting so wierd?"
Her dad didn't move but she could still see his face staring at her. The doorbell started to ring even more now, it wouldn't stop. Donna laid on the floor next to the door, she started crying and fell asleep again, she woke up and checked the time and it was 5am she yelled upstairs
Donna-"Dad are you home?!"CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

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Shabsterz · 2d

She looked out the peephole to see her dad in the same position, she had enough and opened the door. Her hand let go of the door knob as her face dropped in shock, there attached to a hanging flower pot was a rope and on that rope was a hook shoved into the head...the head of Donnas dad.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2d

Remember that Johnny Johnny story? Well, it's based off of a real YouTube video. Check it out.

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When I was born I used to live in the Philippines at age 1-9yrs.
I grew up at a city called "Kalingga"
And lots of horror things happened since my uncle died, LOTS OF STORY! I remember some but I'll tell you there's lots,
1- I was 6yrs and at night I was with my uncle, I was watching him
washing the dishes then suddenly he stands up and go beside me and point at our house (we had 3 houses, and we had a big land) the house was dark, I couldn't see anything and he starts to say "there's your grandma, look at her, she's wearing, red dress, can't you see her?" And I said " um... I see nothing" I opened our flashlight and point it at the door but nothing was there, then my uncle grabbed the flashlight and said " No Don't!"
I stared at the door but nothing was there and after 1mins, my uncle said "ok she's gone, let's go to bed".

2- At the back of our house, there's a HUGE TREE and a BLACK OWL LIVES THERE, at night my uncle went out to go to the washroom and he saw the owl flying directly to my aunts house, (because Philipines was so hot all our Windows are open) the owl went inside the house and my uncle was so confused, what would an owl doing inside that house and when he walk back to our house, he saw the THE BLACK OWL with something liquid in he's beak or bill so he turned on his Flashlight and saw a blood dripping on the ground, my uncle was so scared so he went back to the house and was worried and in the morning my pregnant aunt was dead!, nobody knows what happened accept for my uncle, he explained everything and the people went and investigate the huge tree and the Black owl but the owl had never discovered, they saw blood on the tree but the owl was gone, Everyone was scared so from now on they all closed their windows.

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