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God Creating Worms:

Angel: So, what are we gonna make next?
God: Can we just, take a noodle and like, bring it to life?
Angel: What...?
God: You heard me, I want a living, breathing noodle.
Angel: Uhm, okay but....
God: Also they have five hearts and live underground.
Angel: .....
God: Just do it, it'll be awesome.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 7m

There had to be a better way to list these, right?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 21m

an app that keeps track of songs that you skip the most and suggest that you delete them at the end of every week.

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I did not erase the other comments. It literally says 5 comments when there are only two.

Here's the link to prove it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgo_L-MmbNo

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1h

The fact that if I go into Aldi on a bad day, I’m liable to have a nervous breakdown due to the speed they scan items. I’VE ONLY GOT ONE PAIR OF HANDS, SANDRA.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1h

Installed a 8ft double sliding barn door on my media room entrance.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1h

DAE drink coffee at literally any time they feel like it - even late at night?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

Pomeranians: Living Cottonballs

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

I can't wait for the inevitable apocalypse where the four horsemen arrive and massacre humanity and when Satan returns to earth.

Also, Half Life 3 (if the world hasn't died by then).

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

Thinking about having no afterlife is scary. If there isn't one, you would just stop existing. You wouldn't be able to see, to feel, to think—just nothing.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

[Homemade] Ramen

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

"I eat pears" can be rearranged as "a Paris tee."

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

If we are all special, then by definition, no one is special.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

Letters from WWI

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

Jessica and Mike talking about playing guitar.
Mike: I really want to learn how to play the drums too
Jess: well do you have any other experience with arts?
Mike: I took a drawing class once

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

Me: unplugs a fan
Mike: what was the story you were just telling us?
Me:.....I just unplugged a fan...?
Mike: the teacup

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Anonymous Anonymous · 2h

*music has gunshots in the song*
Mike - WHO SHOT AT ME????

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3h

Mike: *trying to find the movie transformers on Netflix* *keeps typing in transmorphers*

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3h

Norway - Thoughts on the light style?

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3h

My friend had a notebook he kept with him, and one page he had all his passwords written down on. He ripped the page out, and crumpled it up.
Me: why did you do that?
Mike: I had to hide that page so people didn't ever see it. See look, now when I flip through my book *flips through it*
WAIT
WHERE ARE MY PASSWORDS???
*frantically turning the pages individually*
That high

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